Saw "Doomsday." Still scrubbing out my brain.
HOW TO COOK HUMAN FOR DINNER.
(good even when you’re so surrounded by livestock you can’t take your tank for a spin without running over Bessie the cow!)
1) String the human up.
2) Lower the human onto a big-ass grill. Shut up, I don’t know where you’d buy it.
TIP: Make sure to leave clothes and hair on. Leather makes for a yummy crunch!
3) Do not bother to turn or otherwise care for the meat. Just leave it and the whole human--clothes, hair and all--will soon grill into something that looks like mud running downhill in a rainstorm.
4) Enjoy!
TIP: If possible, have young women in thongs walk around with their asses held as high in the air as possible as your human cooks. It’ll make you hungry.
...Intestines? Shut up and eat them.
...Saw a bunch of sci-fi movies lately that weren't great, but had their redeeming moments. Doomsday is not one of them. The lack of logic in the human-cooking scene reflected the lack of logic in the entire story. Which you have to expect from sci-fi with delusions of torture porn grandeur, but there’s a limit.
I’ll say this, though, the cannibals looked awesome--kudos to the costume/hair/makeup people. Pretty much everyone could act, too. I hope to see them in better stuff.
(good even when you’re so surrounded by livestock you can’t take your tank for a spin without running over Bessie the cow!)
1) String the human up.
2) Lower the human onto a big-ass grill. Shut up, I don’t know where you’d buy it.
TIP: Make sure to leave clothes and hair on. Leather makes for a yummy crunch!
3) Do not bother to turn or otherwise care for the meat. Just leave it and the whole human--clothes, hair and all--will soon grill into something that looks like mud running downhill in a rainstorm.
4) Enjoy!
TIP: If possible, have young women in thongs walk around with their asses held as high in the air as possible as your human cooks. It’ll make you hungry.
...Intestines? Shut up and eat them.
...Saw a bunch of sci-fi movies lately that weren't great, but had their redeeming moments. Doomsday is not one of them. The lack of logic in the human-cooking scene reflected the lack of logic in the entire story. Which you have to expect from sci-fi with delusions of torture porn grandeur, but there’s a limit.
I’ll say this, though, the cannibals looked awesome--kudos to the costume/hair/makeup people. Pretty much everyone could act, too. I hope to see them in better stuff.
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As a huge fan of dark fantasy, horror, and the like, that's most of what I'll write about here. Most horror/fantasy/sci-fi is badly made, and there's this silly idea that that means the genres themsel
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