Better Than You: gailsimone: Better Than You: Cosplayersgailsimone: I can’t believe...

Better Than You: gailsimone: Better Than You: Cosplayersgailsimone: I can’t believe...:

everythingbutharleyquinn:

gailsimone:

everythingbutharleyquinn:

gailsimone:

Better Than You: Cosplayers

gailsimone:

I can’t believe this still needs to be said.

Cosplayers are not there to be your pets, your sex workers, your pretend girlfriend/boyfriend, or your creepy grope fantasy.

Don’t put your hands on them without permission, don’t take photos without permission, don’t bully them,…

Fair enough, I’ll remove it. But these complaints were in no order whatsoever, nor were they prioritized, they are complaints I have been hearing from many cosplayers over the past few years. Also, specifically speaking, no one on that list (barring pets) should be groped without permission, either, not just sex workers.

Well… maybe you and cosplayers need to think that it’s pretty fucking fucked up to complain about people groping them if the complaint is ‘what do they think I am, a WHORE?’ It’s all just more whorephobic BS, this idea that sex workers can be optioned for non-consensual groping and other bad behaviour, that it’s part of our jobs and we should accept it - it feeds into attitudes that cause us to actually be treated that way. You should be critiquing that and not letting it slide with a ‘well it’s what cosplayers have said to me’. That’s a cop out. And if cosplayers are saying that people being fucked about boundaries makes them feel like hookers, then those cosplayers are whorephobic and should learn a thing. 

And pretend boyfriends/girlfriends and grope fantasies AREN’T REAL. I’m way more opposed to pets being groped without permission (I think we can all tell when our animal companions don’t want to be touched and it’s pretty fucked up to try and make them) than figments of imagination which don’t exist and so actually cannot ever be subjected to non-consensual behaviour. 

It’s not acceptable for people to use cosplayers as proxies for those fantasy objects, and so transgress boundaries EVER, but the way sex workers as solidly real people in any context were listed alongside fantasy objects in the original post was hella probbo.

I appreciate you removing it but your response also feels grudging and dismissive and I find that disappointing. :( 

I did remove it but just moved it, to be frank, to a different query.

Truthfully, I think you’re right.

I think it’s a problem if people assume people are sex workers if they AREN’T sex workers, I’m sure you can agree that that’s a bad assumption to make just because someone is dressed as Lara Croft or whomever. I think it’s okay to condemn that. The post was about cosplayers being harassed.

Yeah, somehow I doubt the conversations happening about this grievance avoided a whorephobic overtone. Women the world over for multitudes of reasons endure men presuming/hoping they’re sex workers in different contexts and yes, of course it’s not acceptable but complaint about it is rarely about male entitlement to women’s bodies/sexual availability and more about female indignance at being mistaken for a dirty, dirty hooker. But you know, I’m cynical. Worthwhile reflecting on conversations as they’re happening to avoid this.

But I get that putting sex workers in a list with the other stuff is a mess. I’m happy to remove it and you have my apologies. I don’t feel any stigma whatsoever to sex workers, probably because I know so many and they have kindly and patiently made me less ignorant on the topic, bless them.

I know you know the ally discourse pretty well; the truth is we ALL have stigma of varying kinds towards sex workers, as we do to any other group of people who are marginalised and discriminated against; that’s how we’re raised and I think it’s pretty naieve to feel that you’ve successfully eliminated it all when most sex workers haven’t even done that, including me and you know I’m heavily invested in the political side of it.

For emphasis for those reading along as I believe Gail gets it now: listing sex workers alongside other categories it is then implied it IS okay to be inappropriate and behave non-consensually towards (largely because they’re not human/are fictional) is wildly problematic because sex workers are already so targeted and affected by rape culture, discriminated and violence. Okay?

Anyway, it’s removed, my apologies for a hasty reply that seemed grumpy.

Thank you.

(you do know who this is, right?)

I don’t, in fact.

But you know, you’re right.  I can look at the post and think, man, it should not have to be said that sex workers ALSO don’t deserve to be groped and harassed.

But it clearly does.

I don’t want to add to any phobia or stigma against sex workers. Anything that reduces their implied humanity is nothing I want to be part of.