How to Deal with Life’s Setbacks

How do you deal with life’s major setbacks?  Well, first and foremost, know that you’re not alone – everybody has them!  There are some things in life we simply can’t control, and sometimes our course will be altered because of them.  Instead of focusing on the things you can’t control, to deal with life’s setbacks, you must focus on what you can control and realize two major things: 1) you might have to let go of your plan, and 2) it’s not personal.

 

To Deal with Life’s Setbacks, Focus on the Things You Can Control

Some situations you just can’t control.  For instance, someone you care about might betray your trust.  Or, no matter what you do and how hard you try, you might not be able to win over that person you’re trying to impress.  There will be people who can’t stand you no matter what you do, and then there will be people that adore you no matter what.  Situations like these – situations you can’t control – will arise throughout life, and they may change your course. That’s just life.  It is what it is.

But, you CAN control when you wake up in the morning, when you exercise, how you eat, who you choose to spend your time with, your decisions, your behavior, your attitude, your goals, and more!  When you stumble upon a setback in life, focus on the positive – focus on what you can control and what you can do to overcome it.

 

Let Go

Sometimes things will land in your path, which will force you to take another route.  It’s great to have a plan for your future, but avoiding getting so emotionally invested in a plan that you are unable to make adjustments in the event of a setback. 

You don’t have to marry yourself to an exact plan.  If you’re headed toward a destination it’s OKAY to make adjustments to your plan and take another journey to get to your destination.  Let go of your plan, focus on your destination, and be willing to make adjustments.

 

Don’t Take it Personal – Make Your Setbacks and Problems a Product

The first time I had a formal evaluation as an employee and received feedback from my manager, I was a high school student working as a claims checker at AAA.  While I was a people pleaser and a very hard worker, I was new to the work environment, and as you can imagine, I had plenty of room for improvement.  And that really bothered me. 

I felt like it was a personal attack on me as a person.  But before long and with some advice from great mentors, I realized it wasn’t me as a person that was being evaluated, it was my product.  My work productivity, my efficiency as an employee, and my value in the workplace was being evaluated, not who I was as a person.

You have to think of your setbacks as a product.  Here’s another example…  When I first started making exercise videos, I would take it personal if I read a negative review.  Comments like, “I don’t like your workout videos” or “I don’t like your style of teaching” really stung.  But I quickly resorted back to thinking of my work as a product.  It’s the product they don’t like, not me.

When you have this kind of outlook, rather than taking it personal and getting caught up in the emotional aspect of it all, you can make choices.  You can choose to improve the product.  When you hit a setback in life, don’t waste valuable time and energy taking it personal.  Figure out if you want and need to be more valuable to this person, organization, relationship, etc., and if the answer is yes, then improve the product. 

Tenacity is staying in the game no matter what setback you encounter.  Have tenacity!  Decide what you want the final outcome to be, and then, change, evolve, and create an improved product.

 

A Setback is a Setup for a Comeback

Ever heard that quote before?  It’s true!  When you experience a setback, get in the right mindset and make wise choices about the things you can control.  Remember, what you think about has a greater effect on where you’re going than anything else. 

Lastly, spend time with people that will force you to be better, live better, and try harder.  Don’t waste your time with people that make it okay to slack off, make excuses, personalize your problems and have an outlook that “the world’s against me.”

The world is not against you!  Simply make wise choices, adjust your course, create a better product, and seize opportunities to grow.  You can conquer anything!