There Came a Time to Blossom

I recently came across some old journals, one of which had several jottings from a “quote box” at a retreat center I went to a while back.

When we had an opportunity for free time, to do so some self-reflection, to wander the property, and read and write, I snuggled into a big window seat, discovering a box on the window sill filled with little quote cards.

It was my piece of heaven. I was thrilled and grateful for someone to create such a thing, knowing that many women before me had sat in that cozy seat and found solace and joy.

Some of my scribbles from that day include:

“There came a time when the risk to remain tight in the bud was more painful than the risk it took to blossom.” (Anais Nin)

That quote was not a new one on me. I have that saying now on a shirt. I have that on a postcard. I have that in my heart. It was fitting it was the first quote I pulled out of the box. That was the weekend I decided to blossom, even if it meant growing pains.

It is no coincidence that at the start of that retreat we were instructed to explore the property and bring a back an item from nature to put in the center our circle. I found a bud, the perfect match for this quote that I had known and held in my heart so long.

As I read through my notes now, I am reminded to be still, be centered, to be here and now. Sometimes my thoughts go at warp speed and my to-do list seems never ending. It’s good to get back to basics.

“I have four great vows:

When I’m hungry, I eat;

When I’m cold, I put on more clothes;

When I’m tired, I stretch out and sleep;

When it gets warm, I like to find a cool breeze.” (Baiyun Shouduan)

My self-care habits have improved greatly over the years. I take better care of my self, I sleep more, and I feel better. When we understand our worth, it makes sense to treat ourselves with more care.

When I work with women, I see that many still go-go-go, do-do-do, check-check-check, and yet feel guilty about investing any time, money, or energy into their self-care or their growth. Is it any wonder why we feel so tense and clenched up inside?

“We inhabit ourselves without valuing ourselves, unable to see that here, now, this very moment is sacred.” (Joyce Carol Oates)

At the bottom of this page, I have a note to myself: Just help them get started.

Seeing those words kind of knocked my socks off. That is what I do now, help women get started seeing their worth, their beauty, their joy.

Creating a life I love has been a process. Somewhere deep inside of me I must have known it was possible. That’s why I was drawn to certain books, retreats, workshops, events, people, ideas, and opportunities.

Yes, I had the conflicting voices going strong in my head. I’m glad the voice of my heart was louder than the committee in my head.

I’ve learned now how to listen to that voice. I still am not immune to spinning into a tizzy or neglecting my own self-care. I do however get back on track quicker with no real fall-out or residual damage.

I have a few vows of my own. When hungry, eat. When tired, sleep. When restless, go for a walk. When tears come, let them. When happiness comes, let it in. (and when you fall off the groove wagon, get over yourself, and get back on.)

No need to complicate it more than that. It takes daily reminders to myself, in a plethora of different ways. I love that my life’s work is “helping them get started.”

I look at how far I’ve come in my joy journey and am grateful for all those who have helped me along my path. To the unknown person who took the time to copy quotes and put them in a pretty box, thank you. To my inner voice for speaking up and my physical self for listening, thank you. To all of you who share this ride with me, thank you.

For everything that’s still to come, thank you. Thank you, thank you, thank you.

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(Kelly’s Joy Jumpstart program launches soon! If somewhere inside of you there is a voice telling you it’s possible to blossom, listen. Sign up today!)