"How would it be, if you came and had tea with me?"

 Sometimes it is nice having someone else post for you. This morning I woke up dead tired. I forced myself to eat, then when my boss said I didn't have to work today I went back to bed and slept until nine thirty. Thinking I had slept too late I stood up, and promptly fell over. I then lay on the floor until I could move again, crawled back into bed, and have not moved much sense. (In short, I caught a cold that has turned into a nasty case of the flu. One of the worse I've had in awhile. So, I'm leaving. Sleep sounds nice.)*** Have you ever ran into a fellow you can't stand? Someone you are around and you just wish to throw them into boiling hot oil? I meet a lot of people like this, but at the moment Peter Jones has surpassed them all in his ability to be annoying. I've never met anyone like him, thankfully. However, seeing that Jack is ill, I suppose it is the least I can do. I don't see the point in all this though. But, it isn't for me to question how Jack runs things around here...not usually at least. So, I will do this task the little Aeropilot has thrown at me. 

 My name is Isidore Thaddeus Reichmann and I am the most brilliant man you will ever meet. I'm a German detective who's abilities are known world wide, and with good reason. There has never been a case yet I've not been able to solve. Nor will there ever be one. I...
 Blimey! I don't think Peter meant for you to use this post to brag about yourself. 
 I wasn't bragging, Jack O'Malley. I was just stating the facts as they are. 

 No, you were bragging. Stating the facts would be saying you're a detective. Bragging is when you try and snub everyone.
 I'm much more then a detective. And I don't "snub" as you put it. That is Steed. 
 Oi! I think you two could be best friends if you both weren't so stuck up. 
 I will never have a best friend. 
 You could. 
 No...and I fail to see why we are even talking about this on here. Don't you have something better to be doing? Feeding Max, for example? 

 I fed him. 
 I don't suppose you fed Peter to him?
 ...
 Ahem...as I was saying. I am from Germany, originally. At the moment, however, I am in England. 
 With me!

 Yes...in England with Jack O'Malley and her confused dog. 
 Oi! He's not confused!
 He thinks he's human...
 Well...
 There is no possible way he could be any less confused! He tried to sit and have tea with us last night!
 He did have tea with us

 Only because you gave him his own tea cup! He's a dog, Jack. Dogs don't drink out of tea cups and eat cookies. No wonder he is having identity issues. 
 It isn't kind to have tea in front of someone and not invite them to join in. 
 He's a dog. What did you do to him, anyways? I don't think puppies are born thinking they are human. 
 O'Malley says it is because I used to talk to him all the time. But, I kind of had to. He was my only friend. 

 Right...anyways. I think we've completely messed up this post. When Peter finds out you must tell him you are at fault for it. 
 Blimey! You're supposed to be the gentleman!
 Stop saying blimey. And no, Max is the gentleman. 
 He also has your cloak. 
 WHAT?! Get back here you dumb dog!!!!!!

 And now that he is gone, I shall take over. Oi, this should be fun! You will have to pardon Isidore. I think something bad happened to him as a child, like, he lost his favourite teddy bear as a baby or his pet frog was hit by a wagon...don't tell him I said he had a teddy bear. But, as you probably noticed, he's not the jolliest chap on the planet. I've never even seen him smile in fact...maybe he can't. I think if a chap never smiled once in his life, such as Isidore, and suddenly was to his face would break. It would be a pity...he has a nice face.
 Don't tell him I said that either. 
 But, even though he's grumpy and doesn't smile, he's very nice. You should see what he did to help me out...

 JACK! Spoilers! Ug! See, this is why I can't get sick around here. Give me that!
 Okay, sorry. I'm ending this post before Jack gives away everything from the books. And I need to go and break up a fight between Max and Isidore. Tomorrow should be more interesting. Singur says he has something special planned. I'm going to bed. 

 Who put up the girly, tea party pictures?...Wait...JACK O'MALLEY! I did not have a teddy bear!!!!!