How to Pray in Silence IV–Praying When God is Not Showing Up

“Truly you are a God who hides himself” - Isaiah 45:15

Many of us would agree with this verse. Sometimes prayer can become a hide and seek experience with us feeling lost, dry and meaningless. Our initial walk with the Lord is like the honeymoon phase of a marriage when everything is exciting and joyous.

Then God leads us to a dry phase, in which God seems far away. This is to teach us that prayer is about seeking to be with Him and not simply about positive feelings. This willingness to be disciplined even when we don’t feel like it is a must-learn lesson in God’s school of prayer. We need to understand and accept that God inculcates such discipline.

When prayer is a struggle, it’s important to identify possible reasons for it. So here are a 3 personal examinations that can help:

1. Is there unconfessed sin or unforgiveness within us?

Isaiah 59:2 says “your sins have hidden his face from you.” When we struggle with prayer we need to examine our conscience and identify if there is any obvious area of sin, which we need to bring before the Lord in repentance.

Usually, identifying the area of sin is not too difficult because the Lord goes silent primarily only when there is willful disobedience and not “mistakes” committed in ignorance. But at times we can rationalize our sins so well that it may not appear sinful to us. This is where the guidance of a spiritual director / elder comes in handy.

The same is true about unforgiveness - remember Jesus’ parable of the unforgiving servant - Matthew 18:23-34.

2. Have we have moved away from the revealed will of God?

When we have either disobeyed or refused to obey what God has clearly revealed to us – some of these may not appear sinful. When Abraham moved away from the plan of God by having a son by his slave woman Hagar instead of waiting for God’s timing, he could not clearly hear from God for many years.

3. Are we finding it hard to accept God’s revealed will for us?

We can try to play the victim thinking that being confused may either cause God to change His mind or act as an excuse for disobedience. “I was confused, I could not understand what God wanted me to do so I did what I thought was best” is a common cliché in self deception.

Then there are also times when we can get angry when God delays answering our requests. It may simply be that He wants us to wait on Him for His timing.

The dark night of the soul

If none of the above are true and prayer is still a struggle, then most likely you are going through what St. John of the Cross calls “the dark night of the soul” or otherwise known as the  desert experience.

This is a period of time which the Holy Spirit leads the believer through a time of spiritual loneliness when prayer becomes meaningless, God seems absent and faith becomes difficult to exercise. The believer feels abandoned by God and does not know what to do.

If you’re going through the dark night: Believe that this has been planned by God to increase your faith. Know that God is waiting to reveal Himself to you more intimately. Hang in there trusting God to see you through. Take help from a spiritual director/elder, but don’t get too dependent on any human person - God is leading you to Himself directly!

 

I began with a verse from Isaiah and to close this post, let me quote Isaiah again: “For a brief moment I forsook you but with great compassion I will gather you” (Isaiah 54:7). When prayer is a struggle let us assure ourselves that God is more concerned than us in taking our relationship with Him to a deeper and stronger level.

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This final article in the “How to Pray” series is a guest post by Dr. Joseph Francis Dominic, an expert in Medical Oncology and Bone Marrow transplantation who has been awarded gold medals in Nephrology, Medicine & Surgery. Personally, Dominic is a generous friend and a gifted teacher of the Word.

Your turn to share: How do you persevere in prayer when God seems far away and you’re tempted to give up?