Voice and representation

This is important; and not because it mentions me. 

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Originally posted by ada_hoffmann at postI know, I know, the Internet is a neverending dramapile. But this weekend was the first time in a long time that I found myself actually in the thick of some (minor) public drama (not the Weird Tales one, just a discussion that went to a place I didn't like) and interacting with it. It was... strange. It made me think. A lot. And it made me go, "Holy crap I have no idea how to handle this."

What really made me stop and think was something rose_lemberg said to me afterwards. She said, "We are writers, and writers have a power to effect change."

Haters gonna hate. Wilfully clueless people gonna be wilfully clueless, whether you say nice things to them or mean things. The only classy thing to do is what Shimmer just did. To keep working on something that isn't hate.

Rose reminded me of this. And my eye went around 180 degrees, off of the drama, back on to myself. I didn't "get" social justice until a couple of years ago, if then. I've learned a lot. I know how to detect and point out fail, at least. But do I know how to work on something that isn't hate?

Do I believe I have a power to effect change?

"Movement" is on the Hugo ballot and it's still bugging me. (If you are new here and not sure why I would have a problem with "Movement", click here right now.) Answering by pointing out the problems is not enough. Where is the rest of my answer? Where is my authentic neuroatypical voice? How come I've sold nine full-length short stories and only two of them have a character with a brain like mine (and one of those is so subtle that I wasn't sure if she was autistic when I was writing it)?

Do I believe I can do almost anything an NT woman can do? Do I get frustrated with people who act like all we can do is go around angsting about our sensory sensitivities and worrying about "cures"? Do I have 24 years of my own authentic experiences to draw on plus a boatload of Aspie family and friends? Then why do I feel like coming up with stories "for autistic people" is HARD?

And where is my voice as a queer woman? Do I believe people like me deserve to have relationships? Then how come I still can't write a believable relationship (gay or straight) that doesn't end up going down in epically large flames?

No one is going to represent me properly if I won't do it myself.