Rihanna, Not Done with Chris?

Singer Rihanna confided in Oprah Winfrey this week that she still loves her ex-boyfriend, Chris Brown, who beat her three years ago. Folks are upset. they are calling her week and disappointed that a superstar who was beaten by her partner, would still love him three years later.

I get that. I mean, I understand that we all want her to move on, to leave him to wallow in the mess he created, to find someone who will treat her right. But, the truth is, she may move on, but what you do and what you feel don’t always coincide.

She left her singer-boyfriend in 2009 when he beat her. She announced that they were through. She made all the right moves, but her heart didn’t get the memo. The problem is that logic doesn’t dictate emotion. We all know this. People do things all the time that are illogical, but based on their emotions.

Three years later, Rihanna has come to terms with the fact that she still loves the man that beat her. Some see this as week. I certainly wish her heart had let her move on, but I don’t see this as weak. On the contrary, I see her as being strong, strong enough to admit it publicly knowing the ridicule she would certainly receive. The question is, though, will she act upon it? She loves him, so will she let him back in her heart and life again?

What do you do when the person you love the most has hurt you in unimaginable ways and your heart won’t let go? Many of us have been here with a physically abusive partner like Chris Brown or a cheating partner or one who lies or steals. You separate yourself from them physically, but what if your heart is still attached, even three years later? Do you go back?

Here’s my answer: if there’s no sign that your partner has changed, no matter what your heart says, let logic dictate and keep your distance. If enough time has passed and your partner has shown signs of change, then maybe you approach the situation slowly and carefully, keeping your guard up. And, if there is even the slightest slip up, that’s your red flag that your partner will eventually return to their old ways, and you are now gone, but for good.

As for Rihanna and Chris, if he’s been taking anger control classes, hasn’t had any blow-ups, has been kind and calm, she should give it a try if she wants, but she needs to let him know the parameters…lay a finder on me, and you’ll never see me again!