Snippet: Wicked Lucidity

Marketing with Mandy Author Spotlight... Marketing with Mandy Author Spotlight...

Snippet: Wicked Lucidity

Extended Snippet from Wicked Lucidity by Mandy M. Roth

I stared at the large Victorian home in front of me. What was I thinking? The place was huge. Too big for just one person and certainly too much work for me. Calling it a fixer-upper was a far cry from the truth. My need to start a new life and protect the lives of others had outweighed my better judgment. I was hardly a master craftsman and I’d just taken on the project of a lifetime.

Pulling a box out of the trunk of my car, I glanced around at the rest of the neighborhood. It was even better than Amber had described. My house was one of three on the cul-de-sac. The one to my left had caught my eye the moment I’d arrived. The white home with green shutters looked as though it had been meticulously tended. Of course it would be my luck to move next door to someone who was picky. I could already see the feuds over my unkempt lawn. Maybe, if I were lucky, the neighbors would get mad enough to clean my yard because they were sick of looking at it.

“Karri, get your butt up here. You have got to see this!” Amber, my best friend, shouted from the fourth-story window.

I headed in, carrying the box of cleaning supplies as far as the front porch before I ran up the stairs. Walking into the large, full attic, I found Amber digging through two large chests I had specifically told the “movers” to put in the far back corner of the basement.

Yeah, they listened well.

The movers, also known as “my men,” were currently out to lunch. They’d spent the morning setting up my home office. Since they worked for me in the fight against evil, it was in their best interests to get me up and running as soon as possible. Livelihoods and actual lives depended on me. They’d already banished me from the room because I was hovering too much. They told Amber that she could stay, but from the way they were all staring at her breasts, I was scared to leave her without a chaperone.

Amber dug through the contents of the chest, her long auburn hair falling in and over it. She looked like a curious nymph all tucked in on a secret she couldn’t wait to reveal. She held up an object with a long silver handle and a pickaxe-like top. Her blue eyes grew with fascination. “What is all this stuff?”

“Weapons. They’re all from my father’s collection. I finally took them out of storage.”

“Wow,” she whispered.

I went to her quickly, removing the war pick from her hand, convinced she’d put an eye out if she wasn’t careful. “Let’s leave it be. Our luck we’ll chop our fingers off or something.”

“Pfft, you’re like Karri Lee, fighting queen. Hey, did you see the thing in there that looks like brass knuckles but it has claws on it instead? That’s wicked cool.”

I chuckled. “Yeah, it is wicked all right.”

Amber had a flare for dramatics. Not that it came even close to meeting mine, but still. The coffee shop she owned was set up more like a psychic reader’s home base but the locals seemed to flock there for the coffee all the same. In truth, she was very sensitive to most people and places so it made sense that she’d naturally lean towards the Psychics R Us look. Had she not been battling sickness, her skills and gifts could have developed more and she would’ve made one hell of a psychic.

As far as I knew, or rather, as far as Amber let on, she’d been doing well for the greater part of a year now. I hoped that was true. The idea of losing my closest friend terrified me. The idea of losing her to a cancer-like illness that human doctors didn’t understand and continually mislabeled sickened me. Amber’s sickness came from not using her powers. It was that simple. Since she was unaware she even had powers it wasn’t an easy fix and telling her to use what she’d been burying since birth wasn’t as cut-and-dry as it sounded.

One had to come into one’s powers on one’s own. It was just the way things were. Trust me, if I could have fixed her by shouting “use your magik” I, of all people, would have. It would have saved me a lot of pain and several deals with the devil.

Amber laughed. “Have you looked in the mirror?”

“No. I don’t have one hung up yet, so unless I can find a really reflective puddle then I’m not getting to see myself anytime soon. Why?”

Amber shook her head. “You look like an erotic cowgirl housekeeper.”

“Excuse me?”

“You heard me.” She pulled her long hair back at the base and fastened it with the tie she kept on her wrist. “I can’t ever remember seeing you with a do-rag on your head. Don’t get me wrong, the whole big brown eyes, white-blonde hair hanging in loose strands from that rather sad bun thing is hot. But the red handkerchief, barely there, tiny top you’ve got tied over those borderline obscene breasts might be a bit too much. That looks like a bikini top gone horribly wrong.”

I snickered. So did Amber.

“Sort of like a cowgirl’s version of a day at the beach, Karri. Oh, I do love the dirt on your nose and cheek though. And the jean cut-offs thing you’ve got going is all the rage. The topper is the brown work boots. Nice.”

Glancing down, I bit my lip as I checked myself over. “I wasn’t aware I was being judged in the housecleaning portion of the pageant. If I say that I want to end world hunger for my question and answer time with the panel judges, will I still have a sporting chance of winning? I really want to be Ms. Bitch of the Universe.”

Amber shook her head and started down the wooden steps. “You are such a smartass.”

“Thanks. Can I get some points on that as well? Have they wised up and added that category yet?” I answered, following behind her. She went towards the front door and I went for the fridge. “Pick your poison,” I called out.

“Beer.”

“Beer it is. I should have known. You’re all cute and dainty looking, right up until I see you chugging on a cold one. Sorry I was a bad influence on you.” Grabbing two, I headed out and found Amber sitting on the front porch steps with her head down. Immediately, I worried that she was lying about being in remission. I’d seen her at her worst with it and had no desire to see her go through it again. If I could head it off, I would. “Hey, you feeling okay? We can take a break. In fact, we can call it quits for the day. I don’t win a turkey or turn into a pumpkin if I don’t finish unpacking by midnight. And since I have no prince, I’m in no hurry. Should I leave behind a work boot for any possibilities to find me later?”

Laughing, she shook her head. “I’m fine. Don’t start worrying for no reason.”

I sat down next to her and handed her a beer. “I earned my worry badge, honey. Take it or leave it.”

She nudged me and giggled. “I’m glad you finally moved out here. I hated knowing you were alone in New York.”

“I wasn’t alone, Amber. I had Chester.” I grinned from ear to ear as she moaned.

“Karri, a parakeet, which has since died, doesn’t count.”

Taking a sip of my beer, I winked as I aimlessly fiddled with the triple knot, silver charm necklace I wore all the time. “Now you’re discriminating against non-humans. What happened to you? We didn’t graduate that long ago.”

Amber snorted. “You know it’s bad when I start thinking seven years is a lifetime.”

To Amber, seven years was a long time. As sick as she’d been, it was a miracle that she was here at all. I wrapped my arm around her and gave her a good squeeze. “This is a music moment if I ever felt one coming on.”

“Oh no, you aren’t going to get me dancing around in public again. My days for that are long gone.”

Ignoring her, I hopped to my feet and rushed to find my portable CD player. I’d last seen it in the dining room but that didn’t mean much in the middle of a move. With the endless heaps of boxes scattered about my house, it could be buried anywhere. “Tony, Tony, look around.” I smiled as I did my slight homage chant to the patron, Saint Anthony, who was supposed to help me find lost things. Or, at least that’s what I think he was good at helping with. My luck he was the one you asked for help when you wanted to lose something.

I let my power up just enough to find what I was looking for. The second I zeroed in on the CD player, I dropped the power.

As I picked the player up, I found a box marked dresses and costumes. Setting the CD player on it, I picked it up and took it out with me, happy that I’d propped the screen door open with a brick. Trying to carry it all would have been impossible otherwise.

I set it down next to Amber and wagged my brows. Opening the box, I couldn’t hide my excitement as I saw all the things I still had. I grabbed the long white wedding dress and its sister, a floor-length emerald green maid of honor dress. “Look what I found.” I held the dresses up. The green one had been tailor made for Amber with the idea she’d be my maid of honor. Yeah, that’s right. I was supposed to be the bride. I bit back a laugh. Too bad it didn’t work out that way.

Amber shook her head. “No way.”

“Hey, we might as well get our use out of them.” Tossing the green dress to Amber, I laughed as she caught it and pulled it over her head quickly.

I stepped into the sleeveless wedding dress and pulled it up my body. Its large, bell-like bottom flared out all around me. I zipped it as best I could and bent down to the CD player. “I thought one of these moments might come about so I made a CD for the occasion.”

Amber covered her eyes and peeked out from between her fingertips. “Please tell me that you didn’t do what I think you did.”

I pushed play and stood before her. One of the seventies disco songs that I’d played to death when we lived together came on and Amber squealed. “No, you still have this? You were too young to like it in college. I’ll dig a hole so you can bury it. Dump the wedding stuff in it too. I’m sure I can even find you a sparkling silver shovel to bury it with.”

Putting my hand out, I waited for her to take it. She refused it. I didn’t give up. I swayed my hips back and forth, reenacted every seventies dance I could think of and was on the verge of singing. Amber stared out from under her hands, laughing hysterically.

“Hey, are you suggesting I dance like a court jester?”

“Yeah, if court jesters should be in a thong on a pole, then you sure do. Only you could pull it off in that get-up.” She dropped her head down and snorted. “Heaven help the children of the neighborhood.

“Come on, Strawberry Field. Get out here.”

“Don’t go calling me that again, Karri.”

I kept dancing. Seeing Amber happy made me not care who thought what of me. Not that I’d ever cared much in that department anyway. “I’ll keep hitting repeat on the playing of the funky music if you don’t join me.”

Amber stood slowly and sighed. “Know that I do this only to spare your neighbors any further torture.”

“Mmmhmm.” I put my hand out to her and pulled her gently to me. We did a fake bump of hips. I concentrated hard on paying attention to my strength with her. It wouldn’t take much power on my part to inflict damage to her and that wasn’t something I’d allow to happen.

The second Amber began moving her head to the beat, I couldn’t help but smile wide. “I knew you still had it in you. And I would like to point out that even considering all of his flaws, he, note that I’m not naming names, did a wonderful job of selecting a dress that looks hot on you.” Every piece of me wanted to shout exactly who had had the dresses made. Somehow, the very whisper of Jean-Paul’s name could bring him and I wasn’t really up to seeing him. Not that he’d venture out in broad daylight, but still. I held my tongue.

“Gee, I’ll have to send him a thank you.”

I laughed. “Umm, please don’t.” We moved to the beat, just like old times. “Whoohoo, it’s still there. I was afraid you might have either lost your love for our private disco revival moments or did your best to forget them.”

The faint sound of a screen door opening filled the air. It made the idea of being in a real neighborhood all that much more exciting. There wasn’t, as yet, any demon shouting out how I was the Dark Angel sent to destroy them all. No. There was the sound of a screen door. As mundane as that may be to anyone else, to me, it was heaven.

The feeling of being watched came over me then passed quickly. I didn’t obsess about it. In fact, having an audience for my theatrics was always kind of fun. At the moment, Amber laughing and smiling was the most important thing to me.

“How could I ever forget those revivals?” she asked, spinning into my arms and then back out again. “You worked your magik over me and left me a closet fan of music that people run from. Sorry, but that includes the ‘80’s.”

“Hey, I say we start a petition to get leg warmers, ripped up sweatshirts and spandex back on the market. Think jumpsuits and front men of bands. Though, unless they’re a lycan or shifter of some sort, they aren’t allowed to have chest hair.”

“Oh, we’re making exceptions now?” Amber mused, as we danced in close to one another shaking our upper bodies and laughing. “Are you now dating blonds too?”

I gasped. “Bite your tongue. That’s blasphemy! Blonds—ugg. My hair is blonde enough. I don’t want to be staring at another head of it. Besides, doesn’t every little girl dream of growing up to find that tall, dark and deadly man of her fantasies?”

“You mean tall, dark and handsome.”

I shrugged. “That too, but really, what’s the fun of a pretty face? If the guy is that worried about what he looks like, he’d hate me. There have been days when I have to think about whether or not I brushed my teeth. It’s gross. I know. But I don’t care.” I shook my hips a bit to the music and laughed. “And if he can’t hold his own, that leaves me protecting two people. No thanks.”

Amber laughed. “Oh, right. I always forget about the demons that want your head on a stick.” She winked at me, clearly still not believing any of it. “Are any of them cute?”

“The sad thing is yes, most of them are cute. If it wasn’t for that pesky wanting-to-wipe-humans-off-the-face-of-the-earth thing they’ve got going, they’d be the perfect catches.” I winked. “When you’re ready, I’ll let some of my men shift for you. I will have to have a video recorder there, though, to see your face and catch your apology on film. I’ve earned it, sugar.”

She snorted. “I will never get used to hearing you say that. Your men? You sound like you own an escort service. But if those guys who helped you move,” she motioned toward the house, “are any indication of what the rest look like, then I won’t complain a bit if you are.”

“At times, it feels like I do run one. I go on more fake dates than anyone I know. And yes, the men who helped move me are like the rest.”

Amber changed positions and stood next to me. We did one of our famous at-the-bar, giving-into-not-caring, personalized line dances. I laughed so hard my sides hurt. The sweet sound of Amber giggling was music to my ears. Turning to face the opposite direction, I spotted a little girl with long, dark brown pigtails staring up at us with big green eyes. She looked so familiar to me, but I was positive I didn’t know her. I smiled.

“Hi Amber,” she said, showing off her missing front teeth.

Amber kept dancing. “Hilary,” she said, sounding very happy to see the child. “How was shopping?”

Hilary put her hand on her hip. “Next time I want you to take me. Daddy and Uncle Riston argued the whole time. They didn’t know what size I wear. Uncle Riston told daddy to look at my tag. Daddy said that the reason we were there was to get the next size up. It was too big.” She put her hands in the air and sighed, appearing so much older than her age. “Men.”

I snorted. “A girl after my own heart.”

Amber laughed. “Uncle Riston was right. I got you that dress last week so it’s the right size. Do you want me to take you this weekend?” Amber bumped my hip. “We can take Karri with us. She’s very, umm, interesting to take shopping. She once made me try on every dress in the store.”

“Every one of them?”

I nodded. “Yes, every one. Amber said that she’d never find a dress that looked good on her. I then made her find one that didn’t. I even got a group of people to sit and eat popcorn with me while we waited for her to show us every last one.”

Hilary giggled. “They must have been nice ladies to sit there that long.”

Amber gave me a droll look. “Yeah, they were real nice guys that had really nice scorecards that Karri made out of napkins.”

“You didn’t get below an eight on any of the outfits. Told ya you looked great in anything you put on.” I blew her a kiss and kept dancing. “You did get quite a few numbers after that if I remember right.”

Amber ignored me and focused on Hilary. “Would you like to join us?”

“Really?” Her eyes widened.

I moved quickly to the porch and pulled the fairy princess dress, that had been intended to be the flower girl’s dress at my “didn’t happen” wedding, out of the costume box. “Would you like to wear this one?”

“I get to wear a dress too?” she asked, in a sweet little singsong voice.

Nodding, I brought it out and eased it over her head. Her pigtails bounced wildly about before settling back into place. “There. You look beautiful.”

“I do?”

“Drop dead sexy,” I said. Amber nudged me hard. I cleared my throat. “Umm, you look very, very pretty.”

Hilary’s brows rose. “I can’t be drop dead sexy?”

I laughed. Amber nudged me again.

“I won’t get it dirty,” Hilary said, glancing nervously at the ground.

“Pfft, roll in the mud. It’s fine by me,” I said, touching the tip of her button nose.

Hilary gave me a cautious look. “Really? You won’t be mad and go away.”

I didn’t really understand where she was going with this but I shook my head all the same. “Nope. You can do whatever you want in it. Want me to spray paint peace signs on it? You could draw on mine too.”

“Are you sure I can get it dirty?”

“Yep.” I dropped down on the slightly damp grass before her and grinned. “You can have the dress, Hilary. I’ll even have it cleaned for you when you’re done playing if you want. I promise that I can get any stain out of it. So, let’s start by making ourselves unbeautiful brides.”

Her tiny brow furrowed. “Hmm?”

Pushing my hands through the grass, I felt the slightly moist dirt beneath it. I took a handful of it and rubbed it on my dress, leaving a big mud streak. Hilary gasped and took a tiny step back. I picked up some more dirt and took her hand in mine. The minute our hands touched, I felt a spark of her power leap up and recognize mine. She gasped.

“Oh,” she said, staring into my eyes. “You’re special.”

Amber choked on air as she touched my shoulder. “Aww, even children are starting to think you’re crazy. Normally, they’re your biggest fans.”

I winked at Hilary, knowing we shared a secret that Amber didn’t understand. “You’re special too.”

“She is not crazy,” Amber said defensively. I chanced a glance at her, wondering why it was okay for her to refer to me like so many others had over the years but me being truthful to Hilary was not acceptable.

Hurt, I pushed a smile onto my face. “Relax, Amber. I meant it in the special-person kind of way. Not the me kind of way.”

She exhaled deeply. “Oh, good.”

I stiffened and instantly felt another energy in the air around me. It was soothing yet probing me, getting a sense of my intentions. Unsure of where it was coming from, I stood eerily still until it passed. “Okay, that was odd. Anyone else feel like they just had little green men examining them from the inside out?”

Hilary raised her hand and giggled. “Me.”

“Stop encouraging her,” Amber said, glaring at me. “I don’t need her stuck in some fantasy land her entire life, too. It’s enough dealing with you.”

I forced another smile onto my face and nodded. “Well, good thing for you that I gave you a seven-year reprieve. And if I should become a bother, oh mighty sane one, please write it backwards so that when I’m searching for life on Mars in my review mirror, I can decode it.” I didn’t bother to hide the hurt I felt.

Amber dropped down fast, touching my shoulder and licking her lower lip. The worry on her face told me that she cared about hurting me. That meant something to me. “I didn’t mean it like that. I don’t think you’re crazy for real, Sweets. I just tend to… grr… I don’t know. I’m shutting up now.”

Hilary grabbed my face and pulled it close to hers. “My mommy told me once that crazy is sometimes beautiful, especially when it comes bearing sunshine.” She lifted a stray strand of my blonde hair and smiled. “See, sunshine. I think she was right.”

Tipping my head, I smiled. “Why do you think she was right?”

“Because I think you’re beautiful and if you’re crazy too, then she was right.”

The feeling of being watched suddenly took on a new feel. Not a bad thing—just so much as more intense. I would have looked behind me but my gut told me Hilary would sense my unease. I held back.

“Why thank you, Ms. Hilary.” I winked at her again. “I think you’re beautiful too. In fact, you remind me a lot of someone I was very close to once. In my eyes, she was an angel.”

“I remind you of an angel?” she asked, her mouth opening wide.

“Yes, you do.” I stood slowly and put my hand out to her. “Want to dance with us?”

Amber touched my arm lightly. “Karri, I didn’t mean all that the way it came out. I just… umm… gawd, I didn’t mean it. I should think before I speak. It’s not like I haven’t had to explain to others that you’re sane and here I go hitting below the belt.”

Leaning over towards her, I wagged my brows. “I prefer eccentric but I think the state may agree with you.” I kissed her cheek quickly. “I could use the down time. Do you think if I begged extra that they’d sedate me? Numb me from myself? I could go for that.”

“Don’t even talk like that, Karri.”

“Amber doesn’t like it when I talk about some things,” Hilary said, softly. “I guess she doesn’t like it when you talk about some stuff too.”

“Really? What doesn’t she like you to talk about?” I put my finger on my lips and pretended to be thinking extra hard. “Let me guess. Amber doesn’t like it when you talk about the temper redheads have?”

Hilary giggled. “No, she doesn’t like it when my daddy talks about that.”

Really? That was interesting. I glanced at Amber.

She shot me a panicked look. “Karri, don’t add fuel to the fire. We’re having enough issues.”

I gave her a puzzled look. “We?”

Hilary yanked on my skirt. “I heard you say lycans and vampires before. Do you believe in them?”

“Of course Karri doesn’t, honey. She’s silly like that sometimes. She pretend plays a lot.”

I cleared my throat. “And she’s standing right here.” I smiled at Amber before looking down at Hilary. “Please know that Amber’s going to pinch me for this, but do you believe in them?”

“Karri!” True to my guess, Amber pinched my arm.

Hilary smiled wide and nodded. “I do. I told Amber that there are nice ones, too. She doesn’t believe in them and said so. ”

“Oh, there are. I know. And just between you and me, most of them are very handsome.”

She giggled and nodded her head madly. “Have you ever kissed one?”

“Hilary!”

I looked at Amber with wide eyes and tipped to the side. She arched a brow. “Why are you leaning like that, Karri?”

“Well, when your head explodes, I don’t want to wear it. Brain tissue wouldn’t go well with my dress.” Had I not actually had the displeasure of wearing brain matter several times in my line of work, I’d have only meant it as a joke. It did tend to stain. I didn’t point that out though.

“Ha, ha. Now tell Hilary you’re joking and be very clear that you have never kissed one.”

“Nope.” Glancing down at Hilary, I nodded. “I have kissed a few in my time. The first one was my daddy.” I pointed at her cheek. “I kissed him right there every night before I went to bed.”

Her eyes lit. “I kiss my daddy there too. And I kiss my uncle there too.”

“Please don’t call your uncle a werewolf again.”

Hilary and I sighed and spoke at the same time. “Lycan.”

Amber stared at us and took a step back, covering her eyes and laughing so hard I thought she’d fall over. “Of course. I should have known the two of you would get along perfectly.”

“Mrs. Karri, can you change into a wolf?”

Amber laughed even harder, snorting as she went.

Ignoring her, I shook my head. “No, Hilary. I can’t. My dad didn’t pass that on to me. I don’t think many little girls get that from their daddies. I think it’s more of a boy thing. But,” I put my hand up, “I did get the same color eyes as him.”

“Me too.”

“And, Hilary. Just call me Karri. No Mrs. anything. I’m not married nor do I like being reminded that I’m technically a grown up. I’m only an adult when I’m working. Any other time I’m anything I want to be. Now, I feel like being a bride covered in mud, who spent the morning cleaning and who wants to dance instead of unpacking one more box. Sound good?”

She nodded and moved in quick, shaking her hips to the music. It was so cute that Amber and I stopped what we were doing and followed her lead for a minute. She giggled and laid it on even thicker. We mimicked her. “You two are silly.”

“No, sweetie,” Amber said. “I’m silly. Karri’s crazy in the best way possible. She’s crazy beautiful.”

Hilary glanced at me. “Neat.”

Amber huffed. “You get a cult following wherever you go.”

Putting my arms out, I looked up to the sky and laughed. “It’s good to be me. Oh, come my adoring fans. Gather around me. I want cabana boys with loincloths on.”

“Watch what you say,” Amber said, shaking her head, spilling various curls of red from her hair tie.

“What? Is it so wrong to want minions? I’ll happily take them if they come about six-five, with dark hair and blue eyes. I’ll even accept green eyes. I’m a very giving person. Ooo, and they have got to have a bigger butt than me.”

Hilary giggled.

Amber snorted. “That shouldn’t be hard since you’re built like a supermodel.”

“Right,” I laughed hard, “I looked like a bean pole until I was sixteen. I woke up one day with a suddenly filled out body. It scared the heck out of me.”

“You mean you got hellos,” Hilary said, shaking her upper body.

“Hellos?” I asked, not following.

She pointed at my chest and giggled. “You know, chunga-chungas.”

I thought Amber might actually pass out. “Hilary, who taught you that?”

“Well, Thatch and Seaton always point at women with them and call ‘em chunga-chungas. Uncle Riston goes to yell at them, sees the lady and says ‘hello.’”

“Does he now?” I did my best to fill the awkward silence while Amber began to hyperventilate. “Does your daddy have a name for them?”

She nodded. “I asked him what they were really called and he said ‘something that he hopes I never get”.

I bent down and put my arms out. “Oh, honey. They’re called breasts and someday, a long time from now, you will get them.”

Her eyes widened. “Will it hurt?”

“No.”

She wiped her forehead. “Whew. Those look like they’d hurt. Amber’s especially look like they’d hurt coming in.”

I did my best not to laugh. “Oh, yeah, hers just finally stopped growing.”

Amber pinched me again.

“Could you pick a new spot? I’m going to have a bruise there.”

Hilary touched my cheek. “My friend Mindy has a big sister who told us that we’ll start to bleed once a month and won’t ever stop soon. Is that true? I asked daddy and he got sick to his stomach. I tried to ask my uncle but he put his hand up and told me that he didn’t want to talk about it.”

“Amber?” I asked, suddenly needing a little back-up. The very idea of discussing menstruation with a child that I barely knew who came just below my hip level didn’t appeal to me. Come to think of it, the idea of discussing it with a child of any age made my stomach turn. I was not a ‘get to know your body functions’ professor by far.

“Oh, no. You got yourself into it. You get yourself out of it.”

I panicked and did the only thing I could think of doing—I tried to distract her. I snapped my fingers and the CD player stopped playing the CD I’d made and started playing the first song that popped into my head, Like a Virgin.

“Oh my God, I can’t believe you…”Amber stopped yelling at me and covered Hilary’s ears. “Go advance this. You should have warned me that you had this sort of stuff on there.”

I shrugged. “I panicked. This was the first song that came to my head.”

“Oh, like I’m supposed to believe you just made it come on out of thin air.” She shook her head. “Get rid of it. Now!”

I grinned. “Party pooper.”

She growled.

“You suck the fun out of everything.” I jogged over to the CD player and thought about something that would be Hilary appropriate. I drew a blank. “Any suggestions?” I turned down Madonna and waited. Getting no help from Amber, I closed my eyes and relied on instinct. When Wishin’ and Hopin’ began to play, I sighed and turned it up.

Hilary’s face lit. “My mommy used to sing this.” She began to sing along and stopped. “You two need to sing too.” A defiant little look passed over her face and the song instantly started over. I knew Hilary had used her own power to cause that to happen. Amber didn’t. Her brows arched.

“Uhh, CD must be scratched.”

“I am not singing anything,” Amber said, shaking her head.

Feeling bad for Hilary, I rolled my eyes and gave in. The moment I began to sing her little face lit up. I wrapped my arms around myself and spun in a circle, making the bottom of the wedding dress fan out. Hilary did the same thing as me as she began to sing too. I put my hands out and she came to me instantly.

I spun her in a circle fast, still singing as her little legs went out in the air. I wrapped her in my magik, assuring myself that she couldn’t get hurt and felt another magik, the strange one I’d felt before move to encircle her as well. It bumped into mine and backed away quickly.

Setting Hilary down, I kept singing as she giggled and walked lopsided. I playfully danced my way to Amber who had her hands in the air while she shook her head no. Ignoring her, I took her hand and pulled her towards me. I rocked our bodies and reached back fast, grabbing Hilary and pulling her to me before she fell from being dizzy. She laughed harder.

I followed suit and backed up a bit, bumping into something solid when I knew that nothing was there. My entire body began to burn in the best way possible and for a split second I was convinced a large hand touched my cheek. Knowing my imagination was off the charts when it came to overactive, I didn’t dwell on the sensation. Instead, I finished the song and spun Hilary again. This time I crumbled onto the ground next to her and laughed as the song ended. I nodded my head in the direction of the CD player, assuring myself that only songs that were appropriate would play.

“I think you’re wonderful!” Hilary beamed as she stared over at me. “You’re not crazy. You’re perfect.”

“Can I get that in writing?” I asked, laughing softly.

“Sure but you might have to help me spell wonderful.”

Amber and I both laughed. I bumped my elbow against Hilary’s and winked. “I think we’re off to a great start here. What do you think?”

“I think you should marry my uncle. He’s very nice and very tall and very handsome and very staring at your.—”

“Hilary!”

My eyes widened and I thought I might have to smack Amber’s back to get her to quit coughing and choking on her own laughs. “Excuse me, but I think we already went over the ‘I’m not getting—’”

“I heard you just fine,” Hilary said, smiling wide. “That’s how I know you can marry him, ‘cause you aren’t married now. You’re free for the pickin’. He would like you. I know it.” She glanced behind me and winked.

I couldn’t help but follow her gaze. Nothing was there. “You wouldn’t happen to have an imaginary friend standing behind me, would you?”

“Nope. He’s real.” She smiled so wide that I thought I might be able to see right through her dimples and out the other side of her head. “I think he likes your hellos and I think he likes your butt, too.”

“Hilary!” Amber said, laughing under her breath and ultimately losing any credibility in the correction department she might have had.

“Sweetheart, I don’t think you should try to play matchmaker for your uncle or for your—” I glanced behind me again and could have sworn I sensed something there, just briefly, “imaginary friend.”

“No,” Amber said, still snickering. “She really should. The guy could use a good woman. Now, I wouldn’t wish you on him in a million years and there is no way you’d go for his personality. His looks, yeah. His personality, no.”

“Gee, now I feel compelled to ask why.”

Hilary gave me a toothless grin. “See, I knew you’d want to know more about him. All the ladies who come around do but he doesn’t let me tell them. He’ll let me tell you though.” She wiggled her hips and nodded her head. “Yep. I can tell you all about him. Did I tell you he was tall already? I think I did. He’s like Daddy. He has big muscles. I think he can pick up my house but I can’t get him to try it. Maybe you can.”

“Hmm,” I mused. “I’ll have to see about that. An entire house is awfully big. How about we ask him to pick up a car instead? That would be fun to watch.”

“Want me to have him take his shirt off? Ladies seem to like it when he does it. They all make funny noises. Well, all except Amber,” she said, with nothing short of a serious look on her face. Her need to see me happy was suddenly opening a whole new world of hunkiness to me. I seriously considered taking her up on her offer, but held back.

That wasn’t wrong, was it?

My gaze went to Amber who was actually holding her lips together to keep from laughing. “Can I ask where you got the idea to try to marry your uncle off?”

“I dunno.” Hilary gave an awe shucks look. “I saw you dancing with Amber and it just popped into my head. I think you’re his match.”

“His match?” This, I had to hear more of. “What? We look alike?”

“No, silly. You know—a match. Someone you were made for. Umm … err, mate. That’s what it’s called.”

As Amber giggled, I narrowed my gaze on Hilary and thought hard about what she was saying. It was almost too much to believe that a little girl could come up with that on her own.

“You should really think about marrying him. He’s really nice and he used to be very fun to play with.”

Used to be? I held my question in.

“Amber, get the mini-you and do something with it. It’s scaring me.”

“Oh, that little girl is almost a carbon copy of you personality-wise, sweets.”

“Stop calling me that. I hate it.”

“I know. But it’s so cute. I give you a piece of candy and you sleep for a day. Your mom must have loved that. Anyone else ends up with a hyper kid. She got a tired one.” She waved at me and I thought about zapping her in the butt with power. I held back. “You’re lucky that I luv ya like a sister. I have a billion other things I could call you in place of sweets.”

“Great, since you know me so well, explain to Hilary that I don’t date nice men much.”

“Why don’t you date nice men?” Hilary asked.

I winced. “Can we change the topic?”

“Want to tell me if I’ll start bleeding and never stop?” she asked.

I gulped. “I do date nice men, sometimes. I just lose interest in them rather quickly.”

“I see, you chose the easy way out,” Amber said, putting her hand on her hip and winking at me. “Coward.”

“Yeah, please remember that before I arrived she thought ‘the girls’ were called ‘hellos’ and ‘chunga-chungas”.

“You can call them the girls, too?” Hilary beamed.

Groaning, I rolled over in the grass and began to bang my forehead against the ground lightly. “Example-A as to why I do not and am never going to have children. I’ve scarred her for life and she’s not even mine.”

“Uh-huh.”

Taking a deep breath in, I prepared to hear the answer to a question I couldn’t help but ask. “Okay, uh-huh what?”

“Uh-huh, you will have kids because I want a cousin. No. I want lots of cousins and I’m planning on marrying you off to my uncle so I get some.”

I ignored the last comment. “Ohmygods, was I this persistent when I was her age?” When I thought hard about it and got a yes, I wanted to bang my head even harder. “Crap, now I feel like I need to write out apology letters to anyone who had to deal with me.”

Hilary giggled and got her feet. I followed suit, noticing the feeling of being watched again. I wasn’t sure it had ever really gone away.

“Look what I can do,” Hilary said. She instantly did a summersault, popped up fast and immediately examined the dress she had on carefully, even going as far as smoothing the little yellow dress she wore beneath it.

“Very good. You know what you’re doing, don’t you?” I went and stood next to Amber.

The smile that spread over Hilary’s face was adorable.

“Hilary, sweets can do that too,” Amber offered, giving me a smug look.

“Really?” She looked me up and down. “My mommy could do them too before she died.”

Died? I glanced at Amber. She nodded and my heart broke for Hilary. “Did she teach you?”

“Yep, want to see?” She didn’t wait for my answer. Instead she took off running and did a round off back handspring. She went high into the air after her ending, telling me she’d built up a good deal of speed. Amber and I clapped wildly for her as she finished.

“Did I do good?” she asked, running up to me.

“You rocked.”

“I did?” she asked, with a shocked expression on her face. “Rocking is good, right?”

“You betcha.” Bending down to her level, I grinned. “I think you did so good that you might be able to add one more back handspring to that. You still had a lot of momentum when you finished.”

“Momentum?”

“You went real fast and real high.” It was moments like this that made it clear why I had no children of my own. Speaking to them seemed to be a flip of coin, one moment I got it right, the next I was fucked, or rather, they were staring at me with confused looks on their faces. Yep, they were foreign little beings to me. That much was for sure.

“Oh. Okay, show me how,” Hilary said, glancing behind me at something and smiling wide. She winked, and I wasn’t sure if it was directed at me or the nothingness behind me.

Biting my lip, I glanced at Amber. “Do I get to play too or am I going to embarrass you more? I have a pink straightjacket around here somewhere. You could make me wear it and tie me out on a dog lead if it will make you feel better.”

Amber snorted and crossed her arms over her chest. “Like you have ever cared if you embarrassed me or not. I can’t believe you still have the straightjacket. I’m ashamed to admit it but I like it—even though it was pink.”

As I adjusted the wedding dress, I gasped. Looking down, I saw how loose the portion over my breasts was. “Hello, I think the girls are shrinking.”

“Huh?”

Leaning to the side, I wiggled the front of the dress, showing her exactly how loose it was. She covered her mouth as a squeal came out. I growled. “Show a little support here, it’s clear I need it.” I cupped my breasts and realized Hilary was staring at me with wide eyes. “Don’t be in a hurry to grow up, kiddo. Suddenly, things matter that shouldn’t.”

She nodded. “Like ‘the girls.’ I know. Being a woman is hard work. Men have no idea.”

I was too shocked to laugh. Amber did it for me.

Something tugged on the back of the wedding dress lightly. As I heard the tell-tale sound of a zipper, the front portion of the dress tightened, conforming to my breasts perfectly. I glanced at Amber who had a rather wide, pleased expression on her face.

“Thanks, I didn’t think of that. See! I need you for the details, Amber. I’m always leaving those out. I have horrible visions of tripping on the girls when I’m eighty. Couple that with my newfound fear of deflating and I’m going to need that jacket really soon.” I took a deep breath and cupped my chunga-chungas once more. “You’d tell me if my butt took a trip south, wouldn’t you? That’s it. First thing I’m doing after I’m done unpacking the kitchen is going running with a tight sports bra on of course.”

“Umm, Sweets…err… I didn’t zip…”

Tipping my head, I wrinkled my nose. “It’s okay to tell me that without you I’d either forget my own head or walk into yet another doorway. I swear that I only shut off mentally when I’m not working.” As I stared at her it hit me what we were doing. “You do realize that we’re traipsing around in designer wedding apparel.”

She nodded nervously and turned slightly red. “Maybe we should take them off. People might see us.”

“Pfft, you lived with me for how many years? Did you miss the days I went to the market for us? Remember when I wore that black bikini with the sheer mesh dress over it because that lovely lady there told me I couldn’t come in that one time because I had on shorts and a bathing suit top?”

Amber burst out in laugher. “I liked the day she tried to tell you that you couldn’t wear the mesh thing either. You made me check to be sure that no one was looking and untied the bikini top. The second that thing fell to the floor, old Mr. Parthron dropped his milk and clutched his chest. You felt bad for weeks because he ended up having to be rushed to the hospital.”

I covered my eyes and chuckled. “I did visit him every day but I don’t think he knew.”

“How could he not know?”

I glanced down at my chest. “He wasn’t looking at my face. He was staring at my hellos.”

Amber’s jaw dropped. “He was like ninety!”