My Vagina made the Dean's List
Revelations are the brain equivalent of getting sideswiped by a bleach blonde in a red convertible…it all goes white for a sec, then whoa! The gall of Chicks on Twitter who think by virtue of their lady parts they can achieve a following because we guys are such dogs, we just lap up anything they say about their genitals…Now I’m as much a horndog as the next guy, but the way these Chicks talk they probably should have a revolving door installed on that metallic sparkle thong…They are cultivating all sorts of new strains of bacteria for the Center for Disease Control….who needs Ebola in Namibia, just go down to the meatpacking district
Yeah I wrote ‘And that’s why I’m single” because she wants a 24/7 adulation right or wrong Eva Braun…-She writes the rules & you blindly abide and try as you might you can never jump high enough for her to earn any bankable credit. If you can follows this to a ‘T’ you will undoubtably be deliriously happy ‘til the end of your days- You Loser Suck…Don’t you know ‘you only get married for the kids’- that’s not mine ( I wish it was ), it’s every married friend I’ve ever chanced to talk with over a sobering beer- otherise it’s ‘a shared hatred is the basis of any good animosity’ kind of hellish existence
The only way I’ll ever die of a broken heart is if I slam into something really hard. I’ve been there, done her, way to many times to actually put a face to it…It’s just a drunken workout and a mnemonics game of where I put my clothes and how to exit in the dark..
And although even a sex camel needs a little hump now and then and times are tough, and money is short- so of course I’ll treat my body like an amusement park- but everything in moderation really does make sense..now that I’ve split my gym sessions into morning and evening training, it’s so much easier. So
In the morning, don’t day drunk say you love me ‘cuz that’s 9 different shades of weird and I don’t want to do you again sober’
Blessings are an optimist’s scorecard, but who’s counting…
