If you Have to Intimidate to Make Your Point, Maybe Your Point isn’t Valid

Several events in recent weeks got me to thinking about how we communicate and specifically, how we try to influence others. In a true debate, where winners and losers are decided by a judge, all you have at your disposal is the validity of your argument, the weight of evidence that supports it, and perhaps the skill with which you make your points.

But in the arena of religion, relationships, social issues and even politics, no such limits exist. We get to use our own judgement when determining how we want to make our points and seek to influence others. And sadly, reason and the validity of our arguments are often replaced by exaggeration, dishonesty, intimidation and even thuggery.

Take for example the Chick-Fil-A brouhaha of a few weeks ago. I certainly don’t question the right of people to disagree with Mr. Cathy’s comments and point-of-view, but I lost respect for them when their tactics left the realm of discussion and degraded into black-balling and intimidation.

Now lest I be accused of hypocrisy here, I must quickly point out that just about all of us (including Christians) have the potential to use equally bad methods when trying to influence others. Let me offer some examples:

A pastor tells his church that if they don’t give to their church’s building fund, they don’t really love God
Terrorist kidnappers force their kidnapping victim to denounce his homeland on video and broadcast it to the world, and then celebrate as if his comments are legitimate
Constantine told his soldiers that they could either get baptized or die, and then claimed a true spiritual awakening when his entire army suddenly converted to Christianity
Black Panthers stand imposingly outside of a polling place to ensure a “fair outcome” in an election
A religious zealot blows up a busload of innocent people in an effort to show that his god is better than everyone else’s

I’m sure you could list your own examples. The point is that when we resort to such methods when trying to either make our point or sway others to see things our way, rather than strengthening our cause, we actually hurt it.

If you have to threaten or intimidate to get people to align with your cause, then maybe your own point isn’t all that valid. Or least you’re not secure enough in what you believe to let the truth of your convictions stand on their own merit. Manipulation, loud voices and flexed muscles do not necessarily speak to the truth of one’s beliefs.

If you’re god is real, let people find him on their own, not through your threats and thuggery
If you have to browbeat people into giving money to your cause, then maybe your cause isn’t really worth giving to
If your political or social cause has truth behind it, then you won’t need to resort to scare tactics to advance it. We have Wilberforce and MLK as two great examples who stayed above-board while fighting major social injustice and prevailed.

But if you have to slash tires, throw bricks through windows, burn down churches, assassinate leaders, publicly slander or name-call, protest the funerals of soldiers or hold a “kiss-in” at the business of those you disagree with, then be aware that you are hurting your cause, no matter how right it may be.

Consider the message of Jesus. His strategy for change included turning the other cheek, letting people draw the wrong conclusions about him, washing the feet of his enemies and even dying under trumped-up charges for those he knew would reject him. That’s a far cry from today’s “I will overpower you if you don’t agree with me” mindset.

Do you have strong convictions? Good for you. Are you working for social change? Go for it. Are you passionate about certain subjects? You should be. But remember this–in leading people, especially in the high arenas of religion, politics, cultural reform and personal relationships, how you get there is everything. Ends never justify means. If you take the low road in trying to influence others, you run the risk of disqualifying yourself and your message in the process.