Everything I Need to Know About the Gospel I Learned In Nursery

I think that being a nursery leader is the best job in the church. You get hugs from little children for two hours a week, plus they remember you and wave to you without constraint any other time they see you on the street, in the grocery store. There are also some great life lessons to be learned in nursery, in the lesson and not.

Jesus Wants me for a Sunbeam.

We are commanded to be the light of the world, to be the reflection of Christ at home, at work and at play. This isn't a passive responsibility. Radiating happiness is great, but unless we actively involve ourselves in making this world heaven, we are not doing enough. On the level of a child, this may mean simply doing what is not wrong. But for adults, we need to learn not only to do what is right, but to think, to engage in the world, to make those hard choices that make the world better even if those choices are not easy ones.

I am a child of God.

This means that God is my father, which gives me a divine sense of worth. There is nothing I can do that can change my value in God's eyes. I have that to begin with. I do not need to DO anything to be a child. I am inherently of value. There is no sin so great, no thought so terrible, no mistake so horrendous, that I cease to have value. This also applies equally to everyone else in the world. Those who are from other countries, other religions, other political persuasions, other ethnicities, other genders, and so on—they are all as valuable as I am to God and to the world itself. Think what you might be missing if you don't accept this simple principle and learn from everyone around you.

Sometimes it's my turn, sometimes it's not.

It can be difficult to wait for a turn. It can be excruciating, in fact, to feel as if the world is spinning around and my time is being wasted. Nonetheless, there are times when life isn't going to go my way. I don't get to choose those times, much as I would like to (Because truthfully, everyone would choose to have it be their turn all the time). When it is not my turn, I get to sit and do nothing—or I can watch and learn what I can learn from someone else taking a turn. I can sit politely or I can be obnoxious and make rude comments. But when it is my turn and another is waiting, they will have the same choice to make.

Before snack time, we wash our hands.

We all get dirty in the course of life. Before we share food (or any other pleasant part of life) with others, we are obligated to do the quick task of getting clean so we don't share germs. This protects us and others.

Popcorn's Popping on the Apricot Tree.

Nature is one of the great gifts of life. It may not be literally popcorn popping on the apricot tree in springtime, but to experience the joy of that moment is part of the experience. Missing out on it doesn't make you more holy or more righteous. It makes you less so. Stopping to feel joyful is part of the responsibility of a disciple. And it is also one of the perks. There is nothing wrong with enjoying the perks.

When I'm stinky, it's time for Mommy and Daddy.

There are people who volunteer to do some of the hard parts of caring for us. They are our family. No matter how much others love us, it's great to remember that our families see the worst of us. They help us remember that whatever accolades we get outside the family aren't the real picture. They are great, but the real work of living can be messy and to live constantly in the world outside of that messiness is false. If your family doesn't adore you, that is the way it should be. If you forget to do the work inside your family and only do work outside of it, you are lying to yourself about who you are. Eventually, your true stinkiness will emerge.

The little boy with the missing hand has the best jump shot.

Adults like to make categories. Abled, disabled. White, black. Boy, girl. But in nursery, mostly kids see the world in terms of who is interesting to play with. In our nursery, there is a boy with one full hand and one partial hand and he is the best basketball player. Guess who everyone likes to play ball with? Forgetting this is one of the problems of adulthood.

Who needs shoes?

Grownups and children alike tend to take off their shoes in nursery. You can play the game of trying to put the shoes back on every pair of bare feet or you can choose to pick up the shoes and put them on the counter until it is time to go back outside nursery. Which is more fun? Shoes are a constraint that the real world puts on us. Shoes shelter our feet from pain and rocks in life. But there are wonderful places where we can take off our shoes and feel safe and free.

Jesus and Heavenly Father Love Me.

The great lesson of nursery is that there is always someone who loves you. No matter how many times you fail. No matter how wretched your life becomes. No matter how many people you disappoint. No matter how how bad your life looks.

When you cry, always use a tissue.

There is a magic about tissues, I have found. A child will often cry when Mommy or Daddy leaves nursery. Nothing wrong with a few tears shed to show your love. Then you wipe the tears off and it's time to play. Some kids cry more before they are ready to play. There's nothing wrong with that, either. But the simple offer of a tissue to dry off the tears is a ritual of accepting the sadness and moving on from it that adults could learn from.

We have to learn to sit on the big kid chairs.

As fun as free play time in nursery is, there is also a time for the lesson. And during lesson time, we sit on the big kid chairs. Wiggly children don't always stay on the chairs for long. We know this. Nonetheless, the expectation is that they will go back on the chairs. We remind them gently. Then we pick them up and put them on the chairs. No need for yelling. You simply put them back, give them another chance, and remind them of the expectation. That's the way we all grow into the expectations of our roles.

Lesson time can be fun.

Adults fall asleep in church all the time. Lessons are so BORING. We have to prove to each other that we're smart, that we're learned, that we've done research. We feel obligated to cover the material. But really, lesson time should be fairly simple. A one sentence lesson that can be repeated a few times. Really, how much of what we hear at any time do we remember and use? If you get one sentence across that makes a difference, do you need more than that? And making sure that anyone remembers the lesson is largely about making it fun. Instead of trying to prove something while teaching, try to make it fun. Sing, move, dance, be silly.

Playdough, puzzles, and paint—it's all learning.

We make too many sharp distinctions between play time and work time in the adult world. Al play is hard work. It's just our mind and body doing different work than we often get paid for. For me, “play” is training for and running triathlons. Or playing the piano. Or knitting and sewing. But any of those can be work for someone else. When you've got playdough out, enjoy making snakes and cutting shapes. Finger painting teaches motor control and visual acuity. We're always learning. Embrace that. Find your own play dough and let it be fun.

Say you're sorry if you hurt someone.

Sometimes we are too eager for a toy that is shiny. Or we don't look where we're going and bump into someone. It doesn't matter if it's an intentional mistake or not. What matters is that we hurt another person. Why is it so difficult to say, “I'm sorry?” Say it and you can go back to play. There's no need to hurt yourself to make it even, to spend years in agony of regret or guilt. Say you're sorry, move on. Try not to do it again.

Ashes, Ashes, We All Fall Down.

The old nursery rhyme is about the black death. We're all going to die. We practice for death all the time to make it easier when it comes. Children understand about death in ways that adults do not. When my youngest daughter died, my 3 year old said, “When she is alive again, we'll play with her.” Death isn't something to be terrified of, to speak in soft voices about. We all come to the end of life. Some lives are longer than others. This is simply the way that life is. It isn't fair. Many things are not fair. Very young children grasp this instinctively.

Clean up, Clean up, everybody everywhere.

When you have played with a toy, you have a responsibility to help clean up that toy. Sometimes you will need help to clean up because you have made a bigger mess than any one person your age can clean up. Sometimes people will help you without being asked, but not always. Cleaning up before moving onto something else is one of the key lessons of life. A child who refuses to clean up anything needs to find that there are consequences for this.

You can make a friend with a complete stranger.

Just because you have never met someone before does not mean that they won't become your best friend. Children are often far more open than adults to making friends with anyone and everyone. They don't expect much, simply someone who won't hurt them and who will play the same game. Laughter and being silly are bonding moments. There is no need for names or labels or promises that the person will come back the next day or week. Play while there is time to play.

Only pour as much water in a cup as you are willing to clean up.

This is something one of the other nursery leaders taught me. We use very, very small paper cups for snack time in nursery and we only pour about a half inch of water in the cup. We are eager to give children a refill if they ask, but at least once a day, a child will spill everything that was in the cup. This is much easier to deal with if there isn't that much spilled. If you don't want a child to make a certain choice, don't put that choice in the option queue. If you threaten a child with a consequence, make sure you follow through. Say what you are going to do and then do it. Be okay with the rules you have set up for your own life.

Food makes everything better.

I spent a long time complaining about candy being used as a bribe with children, but the reality is that we all use food as a reward. We use food to welcome people, to share good times with people, and yes, to bribe other adults to attend meetings. Perhaps we go overboard with this, but eating food is a simple pleasure. Why deny it?

Mommy and Daddy will always come for me.

This is one of the mantras of living in the nursery. Yes, Mommy will come back. Daddy will come back. Grandpa will come back. It is an important part of childhood to understand that there is object permanence. Peek-a-boo. Routine and stability are important for children and adults. We need to have the sense that our lives follow a pattern. Set a pattern for yourself and you will find that you are happier. A lot of religion is ritual, and serves the purpose of giving us comfort through repetition. While watching the Olympics I noticed how many athletes went through a pre-race ritual. They did some stretching, I suppose, but it wasn't about the warmup physically. It was about the need for sameness. We all need it.