Little Glimpses of What Almost Was

I've heard a lot of babylost mamas talk about how they sometimes get a sense of their lost children's presence around them, soothing and peaceful. Or they talk about how their dreams are filled with comforting visits from their children.

In the eight months since Eve died, I have not had such an experience.  The only dreams I've had of her have been pure nightmare, or at best a reliving of her death and birth.

I have not felt comforted by her.

And really, I'm not sure that I want to. ...