Happiness and Confidence is a Way of Being

One of the results that women get from coaching with me and after the 7-week Joy Beyond Your Dreams life mastery program (starting Sept 17!) is increased confidence. Confidence and happiness go hand in hand, intertwined. If you feel confident, you feel happier. If you are happy with your life, you feel more confident.

Does that make sense?

People simply want to feel good about themselves. “Comfortable in their own skin” is a phrase used often to describe confidence. It took me a lot of years to really to be comfortable with me. To accept me, to like me.

Being able to make a decision and not waffle, that’s confidence. Trying new things, be it a relationship, a job, a business, a move, a new haircut, that’s confidence. Investing in oneself, that’s confidence.

There’s something about women, in general. We’ve been taught to be demure, defer, and deflect: Be modest and not draw too much attention. Allow others to influence decisions. Poo-poo any compliments that come our way.

Sound familiar?

Graciously accepting a compliment with a sincere thank you and no commentary is confidence.

The dictionary defines confidence as full trust. I love that. Trust is a biggee. We first have to trust ourselves before we can truly trust in anyone or anything else.

Learning to trust in me again was part of my journey and what I teach. Trust is still my go-to word when I find myself wavering on a decision. I know the steps now in how to guide my life; I do my head/heart review and I trust.

When it comes to love, business, or letting our kids fly away from the nest, the cornerstone is trust. My trust in me and my confidence and my happiness are the interrelated foundational bricks of a joyful life. Joy compounds more joy. I love teaching other women how to get their joyful life.

Wikipedia (!) says confidence is a state of being. I give that a big hell-yez.

I never thought I’d quote words of wisdom from Wikepedia, but here goes: “When one does not dwell on negative consequences, one can be more ‘self-confident’ because one is worrying far less about failure or the disapproval of others. One is then more likely to focus on the actual situation which means that enjoyment and success in that situation is also more probable.”

When we get out of our heads (or in certain vernacular, get your head out of your butt), we can get clear and focus on the here and now. Learning to do so does indeed make life more enjoyable. Success is more probable too.

My personal and my professional success are directly linked to me putting the halt to dwelling on the negative. Getting my head out of my … way. It’s a learned process. We can train our brain new habits and science proves that we can rewire the way we think.

Holy Bat Logic, Batman. That’s pretty astounding.

What we think rules our feelings, our actions, our life. If we can do a little “mind control” and feel better, why not?! I call it brain washing in the very best way.

Implementing new habits is not as hard as it can sometimes seem. If you brush your teeth, make your bed, and put milk back in the fridge, you have what it takes to get your happy on.

Start by having your brain be a search engine that is on your team. Instead of saying that you’re an idiot and sending your brain off on a search for all the ways and times you acted like an idiot, (believe me, your brain will give you some examples!), focus on what you do know how to do.

If you asked the simple question: What do I know how to do? Your brain will give over a million hits of all the things you know how to do. You rarely give yourself credit for knowing how to tie your shoes, sharpen a pencil, or wash the dishes.

You take for granted so much about you.

Pretend I just arrived from Planet Pink Purple Sparkle and I asked you ten things you know how to do. You could that. So, Earthling, give me ten things you are good at. On my planet, there is no cooking, crocheting, or Karoake, and I bet you know those things.

Now imagine, you have been just entrusted with an infant from my planet who loves and adores you and absolutely believes in you. I need you to teach this innocent, trusting creature ten things that you love. You could do that.

So your joy assignment this week is to stop selling yourself short. Stop putting yourself down. Stop dwelling in negative.

If you catch yourself saying: I can’t do that; I’m not good at that; I suck at that; stop in your tracks. Ask your brain what you can do, what you are good at, what you don’t suck at.

Small stuff counts. We gotta start somewhere. I can bake a cake. I am good at writing. I don’t suck at vacuuming.

Now do it again. I can change a light bulb. I am good at filing my nails. I don’t suck at mowing the grass.

One more time. I can use a calculator. I am good at blowing bubbles. I don’t suck at spelling.

Think of all the “mundane” stuff you know. Now go crazy and keep thinking of all the stuff you do that you enjoy. No grading, no comparing, no judging. Does it make you feel happy thinking of these things?

Happiness and confidence so hand in hand. Take your brain in hand too and start it on its new path. Questions? Give me holler!

(Joy Beyond Your Dreams life mastery program begins Sept 17. Seven weeks of me and you growing in confidence and joy. Life changing! See www.kellyepperson.com/programs or call 888-637-3563.)