“I want my life back…” heart-wrenching excerpt from “CHARMEINE” the First Novel in “The Light-Bearer Series”

Smith Point Beach from Visitor Center (Photo credit: Mr. T in DC)

Charmeine looked into Tabbruis’ deep green eyes rimmed black with anger and sexual heat.  She said softly, “Tabbruis, I want my life back.  I want to come back to Long Island and teach again.  I want to be Miss Charleen Davis again.  This… we… will never work.  Maybe you should have never rescued me in that parking lot?  If I am truly the Queen of Light, I should have been able to defend myself.  I should never rely on anyone to take care of me.  I never did before I met you, and I was fine.  I should have never trusted and married you.  I don’t know what I was thinking.  I should have stayed by myself.  As far as that ring on your finger, its properties are not precious metals but cheap penny-weights.”
What Charmeine said cut Tabbruis to his core.  He was shocked!  His heart was encased in ice almost totally now.  He could not feel it even pump.
However, Tabbruis had to get through to Charmeine!  She could not leave him.  Tenderly Tabbruis said, “Charmeine, my love….”  Tabbruis took Charmeine’s hand and her hand did not spark!
Charmeine looked at him through tired eye lids and they both looked down.
Tabbruis was taken aback in shock!
Charmeine said, “I don’t spark for you anymore Tabbruis.  My heart is dead, like my love is dead.”
Tabbruis in desperation, pleaded, “Charmeine, do you not understand you cannot leave me?  Part of your heart lives in me, and part of my heart lives in you. We are joined.  We are not whole when we are separated; therefore, we cannot live apart!”
Charmeine gently took his face in her hands, looked into his eyes, and softly said, “Tabbruis, I will admit to being in love with you so deeply I do not know where I end and you begin.  However, Tabbruis, I think of you as my rock, my cool shade tree on a hot summer’s day, and my ocean which is always dependable with the waves coming in and out of shore.  It makes me hurt inside in my heart knowing you did not trust me, knowing you did not believe in me, and most of all, knowing you lied to me.”
Charmeine ran her fingertips with a feather light touch over his lips when he tried to talk and said, “You see Tabbruis, I depend on you to be my rock, I depend on you to be my shade tree, and I depend on you to be my ocean.  When you do not believe in me or lie, my rock falls into pebbles, my tree withers and my ocean dries up.
Charmeine whispered looking at Tabbruis with her worn-out eyes, “We should get to the airport for the battle.  I flew here two days ago.  I have not slept or eaten.  I do not have enough strength to fly.”
Charmeine wearily walked through the tunnel to the parking lot.  She turned around and looked at Tabbruis and the air was blowing through his chestnut brown hair with the highlights all around it.  His eyes seemed like pools of green liquid emeralds.  He was standing with both of his feet out and his arms had been put over his chest like a shield.  Charmeine thought, ‘Even now, he is nothing but a work of art in the flesh.’  She turned around and kept walking toward the limo with her head high while tears were streaming down her face.
Tabbruis was traumatized.  Charmeine was his Wife in Heaven and on Earth.  They belonged together.  He loved her.
On the other hand, Tabbruis was angry and burned with a fire in his belly.  He thought, ‘Why had Charmeine not trusted my judgments?  I am the person with the military experience.’  He was livid because Charmeine said she would leave him.
Still, Tabbruis was lost without her.  His life revolved around this very beautiful and complex creature.  Tabbruis needed Charmeine more than she would ever know.  His light, his breath, his laughter, his love was inside Charmeine.  She was the only woman he had ever wanted to be with, let alone love on the Earth.  When she left, it was a wonder Tabbruis had not lost his mind.
Tabbruis got into the limo after Charmeine.
She slid across the seat to the other side as far as she could to be away from Tabbruis.  She kept her head turned towards the window.
Irritated, Tabbruis said, “Driver privacy please?”  The window between the seats came up.
As the limo started to make its down William Floyd Parkway, he turned and said, “I feel like I am damned at whatever I say to you.”  Tabbruis could see Charmeine’s reflection in the glass.  He saw her close her eyes taking in what he had said.

English: Mount Lycabettus, Athens, Greece. Français : Le Lycabette à Athènes, en Grèce. (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

Trying to start some kind of dialogue with her, he said, “We have relocated the squad to Athens, Greece to prepare for the battle.  I have relocated all your things.  Once we get on the plane, you can eat.”
Charmeine did not respond to him.
Tabbruis sensed Charmeine’s heart rate was slow and could feel the immense stress in her body.  His heart was not doing any better, it was slowing and there was nothing he could do about it.  Tabbruis thought, ‘I really wish I could hypnotize her now.’
Tabbruis now just almost to the brink of his endurance said, “Why?  Why leave me over this Charmeine?  I have nothing but the best interest for everyone at heart.  Charmeine can you not see that?  There is nothing malicious in my intentions!”
He swallowed hard and said, “For two days, I and our family have been terrified and worried you were going to be caught by the Elder Council or another blood-hunter.”
Charmeine closed her eyes and said softly, “Yes, I should have called my family to let them know I was safe, but then you would have known where I was calling from and came.  I needed time to think.”

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