The Blinking Curser

Sh!#!Mother F^#%@#! C&%(  *$#*er!

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See? I told you! I can’t stop cursing. And I’m blinking because I have been staring at the other blinking cursor since Monday. What I used to think of as my computer’s peppy pulse is now a flashing second hand, counting down the minutes before next deadline. IN NOVEMBER!  And I have nothing. Nuh-thing! And it’s pi$$!#g me off!

I have been agonizing over the first sentence of my new book, The Dirty Book Club, for three days. I was supposed to be on chapter three by now. Visions of me working over Thanksgiving are starting to haunt me. I don’t want to go through this again. I want a life! This will be my 31st book. I am a professional. Why can’t I come up with a sentence?????

UGGHHHHHHHHHH!

I am literally going to get up now. Walk around the block and try to get some perspective. Stand by…

[SEVENTEEN MINUTES LATER]

While I didn’t come up with the elusive first sentence, I did return with some insight, and look, my color is back.

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TEN THINGS I REALIZED ON MY WALKABOUT:

1. It’s hot out there.

2. Frozen yogurt is very popular this time of year.

3. This summer’s trendiest hairstyle for girls is the J-Lo high bun. For boys it’s salty and wet.

4. No one wears shoes in Laguna Beach.

5. Or much clothing at all.

6. I am so stressed about making my first adult book perfect I am not having any fun with it.

7. I will spend the rest of the afternoon thinking about why I wanted to write this book in the first place. I will make it fun again.

8. I will break the cycle of frustration and write someplace new tomorrow. Change is very inspiring for me.

8. I will rip up my schedule and allow myself time to write this first sentence. As long as I need. Take that you blinking b%$#@. Once I get into the groove my writing will speed up. It always does. Then I’ll go back to the schedule.

9. I need to treat this book like a new relationship and start slow.

10. If I have the first sentence by next week I will post it. If I don’t I will keep walking until I get there.

Writing, like so many things we do, is a process. Even the word process is part “pro” and part “cess”. Funny how I feel like both right now. Come to think of it I always do. And yet, here I am again. But in color. Where I am choosing to stay.

TTYW,

Lisi