Whatever it Takes

 

I am in the throes of book promotion.  It’s an uphill battle.  My book, though fun, isn’t especially important or helpful.   You wont get rich reading it—you probably won’t get skinny either—I certainly didn’t when I was writing (a euphemism for eating). I wish I knew how to write bondage.

 

 

A close friend of mine wants to help me. She’s abuzz with ideas: have a tweeting party, troll the blog posts, your book has moms—it’s back to school (I’m going to use that one). She’s generous and savvy. She’s great.

 

“I got you an interview,” she screamed into my phone. It’s on satellite radio, they have millions of listeners.  Easy. Just be funny.:

 

I hadn’t heard of the host. He is famous in the radio world, a world I don’t know. I’m a TV person at heart but I am willing to become a radio person.

 

How much am I willing?

 

I looked him up.  His demo: 18 -35 year old single males.

 

Not exactly readers of woman’s fiction

 

But I filled out the forms anyway, throwing in a few witty lines and promising a riotous exchange.

 

Two days later, my friend called me—panicked.

 

“I’m trying to save the interview.”

 

Apparently, I lost the interview.

 

“I’m all ears.” I was, in fact all ears. This was my chance. Without this interview my chances of oblivion are significantly higher.

 

“It turns out the host doesn’t want a book about moms or post partum that’s boring. They don’t care if it’s funny or a mystery.  The guy doesn’t like books. I think they will do it if you trash women.”

 

I felt sick.

 

“Aren’t there horrible women in your book?”

 

“Yes, but ultimately it’s about a woman trying to get her power back.  It’s about moms losing their identities upon having kids.  This isn’t a woman bashing book.”

 

 

“Would it be possible for you to bash a few of them?”

 

We both knew the answer.  My friend just extricated herself from an abusive marriage and is raising three kids on her own. She wouldn’t have been able to do it.

 

I couldn’t either.

 

So