Signed books
From time to time I get requests from people wanting to send their books to me, have me sign them, then send them back.
This makes me feel really awkward, because I hate saying no to people, but there’s a couple of reasons why I just can’t do this.
Firstly, once you’ve said yes to one person, it becomes very difficult to then start saying no. As much as I like every single one of you who’s parted with their hard-earned to buy my books, if I spend all my time unpacking, signing, re-packing and getting taxis to the Post Office, I’m not going to have much time for writing. And you all want more books from me, I hope. Don’t you?
Secondly, I’m a bit leery about giving out my home address. As much as I like every single one of you etc etc I’m not quite ready to invite you all in for a cuppa, because then I’d have to get the hoover out. Plus, it would totally ruin the authorly mystique.

Furring up the world, one nap at a time
I’m sure you’ve watched Castle on TV and you think all authors can afford glamorous loft apartments and fresh blueberries every day for breakfast (which they never, ever finish).
The reality is we mostly slob around in faded t-shirts and PJs with no makeup on, avoiding housework and not really caring about the cat hair on the furniture.
That authorly mystique? It’s there for a reason.
Fortunately, there is a solution. If you want your much-loved book defaced with my scrawl, you can bring it to me at an event, convention or signing session, if ever I’m allowed out into polite company, or you can buy a signed copy from the following selection of fine independent retailers:
Analecta Books – first edition hardcovers, signed, lined and publication dated
Anderida Books – first edition hardcovers, signed, lined, publication dated and numbered, strictly limited to 100 copies
Goldsboro Books – first edition hardcovers, signed, lined and publication dated
They are all top, top chaps and it has been my pleasure to work with them since the very beginning of my career as an author (i.e. last year). Go check them out, and support independent booksellers. You can’t get my signature on Amazon.