August 01st, 2012

One of the best ways I've found to get a good cardio session is to maintain control of a five-kid martial arts class where your students are between the ages of three and six. Did I mention if you can't drown them out in a shouting contest they will do absolutely nothing you say?

You get to go completely nuts! You get to run around the room with screaming little kids following you like a creaky caboose; you get to grab soft foam sticks and beat them with it (how else do they learn to block things?), and sometimes you get to pull out a stack of square target pads, and call out their dads to play dodgepad. It's always the dads that come out, too, you see. They just love throwing soft things at their kids.

Want a good workout? Teach martial arts to little kids. They'll keep you on your toes. Or running for your life. But don't ever - EVER - let them dogpile on top of you. You will never get out. Sitting down on the floor is like telling them to tackle you, and they're like herd animals. Where one goes, the rest will follow, and you'll be the poor person glimpsed only occasionally as your arms and legs flail through the air.