10 Things to Do with Your Kids While You Read by Leia Shaw

Do you have kids? Do you like some of them? Me too! And if you’re like me, you also admit they can be a regular pain in the ass.

Here are 10 ideas to keep your little ones occupied for any occasion. Reading, writing, stalking ex-boyfriends on facebook…whatever your creepy hobby may be.

1. Instigate a fight between siblings. As long as you can ignore the screams of pain and don’t mind blood on the carpet, this is sure to be a long time of fun.

2. Use the garden hose to flood the back yard and tell the kids they can’t come back in the house until they catch a swamp fish.

3. Have them call Nana and tell her every minute detail of the day then tell her to explain the bowel habits of women past age 50.

4. Two words: violent videogames. Also helps with #1.

5. Give them a toy magazine and tell them to pick out all of the toys they want, only you knowing there’s no chance in hell you’re buying any of them.

6. Sneak your laptop into the bathroom, run the water, and tell them you’re taking a shower. No kid wants to see Mom naked. They won’t check.

7. Serve them spaghetti for lunch but make them eat it with a spoon.

8. Have a closet under the stairs? Lock them inside and tell them you’re playing Harry Potter.

9. Give them a bag of rice then tell them if they plant each grain one-by-one, they’ll grow a rice tree.

10. Tell them to ask Daddy where babies come from.

Now that you know what a spectacular parent I am, come back next week for another ridiculous post titled 10 Tips for Vacationing with Your Kids! Sneak peek: don’t bring ‘em!

Now it’s your turn. Help a girl out! Leave a comment with your ideas for keeping your darling little monsters busy while you read/drink/stalk/etc.

Filed under: romance