Last Week’s Tweets
http://t.co/On8kXSxw #
The wait is over! 1st word of German OSMUW has now been unleashed upon the world…
Schwanzschmarzen
Translate it here
http://t.co/Sz4CwBc7 #
"dick hurt Tail very bad pain. So right now I'm not really a tail- ache…"
Jack Samsonite translated from German #
Ah, the old "tie Olympic torch to top of London Eye" trick. They obviously learned from my mistake.
http://t.co/wh9Akvue #
Observation of the day: You know in Heroes, (that tv series where people discover they have special powers), and… http://t.co/sWWKF0Na #
Future child: "What's a library?"
Future adult: "Look it up in a dictionary"
Future child: "What's a dictionary?!" #savelibraries #
Look what I got in the post! http://t.co/P5nkQkXE #
Only 999,494 to go until I have 1 million followers!
Sooo close. #
As of today, the girl from #Altrincham craft market can also be found at notonthehighstreet! Well done @cupcakes4clara http://t.co/fu24PAPl #
Observation of the day: Hot Pants aren't quite so "hot" when there's 3 inches of saggy buttock hanging out the… http://t.co/pnAiYSMs #
Dear @CostaCoffee PLEASE stop blending your iced coffees! We pay for medium but it shrinks to THIS… http://t.co/RHhrBDH5 #
Observation of the Day: When cooking dinner, if you taste your food from a WOODEN spoon, it makes you feel like a… http://t.co/EntgBkky #
If you see me tweeting anything rude, offensive, or just downright annoying, it's best to assume my Twit account's been hacked.
(it hasn't) #
I'm like some kind if guru or something.
RT "@loltergeist: @tomclempson @sisterspooky always the voice of mature wisdom Tom." #
In Costa. Trying to write. But my old school chum @lukeconcannon is singing loudly (& beautifully) on the stereo & putting me off. Shh Luke! #
This is my brother, Ben. Not the best video, but he's still one of the best guitarists I've ever seen! http://t.co/JYlHBWk0 #
I think @AidanBurleyMP just did more damage to his party than this pic will ever do http://t.co/U8AgPnbT #
Waiting up for Team GB at 12am. Not sure why. I'm predicting athletes + walking + flag. (Seen that before somewhere) #
Despite this picture, he isn't the one who comes across as the nazi of the night @AidanBurleyMP http://t.co/61z64xjr #
Only 16 mins Togo #
Why aren't they SPRINTING then POLE VAULTING up that hill? #DlowestAthletesEver #2012LondonOlympics #
So, who are these guys in white? #
Do you think Danny Boyle forced the Arctics drummer to wear that shell suit? #
What the holy hell…????!!!! #
Do you think Danny Boyle forced him to sing out if key? #
Did Elliot die?!! #
Just bring on Harry & his broom to light the thing already #OpeningCeremony #
Danny Boyle wanted the ceremony to start at night so it'd look good in the dark. Would look even better if my eyes were open! #pastbedtime #
Those copper petals are so damn multicultural #
The show ain't over till the old lady sings.
Oh… She's WHO??!!!!! #
It's all about people of the world coming together.
Well, it was until…
"Just the men!" #
Observation of the Day: Slobbing out in front of the TV seems that bit more lazy when you're watching the planets… http://t.co/6VuIX03r #
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