Enough with the Aspie bit already
.... and the Readercon thread now has an obligatory "but I am a mom of an aspie, this man can be an aspie!!!!" comment.
As a mother of a child on the moderate to severe end of the spectrum, I find this offensive.
When my little boy integrated into mainstream kindergarten last year, this was his first time among neurotypical children. In his excitement he was running around and pulling other kids' hair. We worked patiently for months to teach him not to do this. He got it. We are still teaching him to respect other people's spaces (he's better, but not perfect) and listen to other people's no (he's pretty good at that). My little boy is doing much better with the concept of boundaries, but until he is able to consciously control himself 100%, he cannot be integrated in the classroom without full-time aide supervision.
If you would expect no less from a minimally-verbal, moderately-to-severely impacted 5 year old who has had an official diagnosis for most of his life, why are you willing to be lenient towards a charming, friendly adult man who has chaired a Worldcon, is well-known in fandom, is a father, has good friends, writes for Tor, owns a business, - in short, has shown himself competent in complex social situations - just because he might be an Aspie, even though there is absolutely no indication that he might be? Perhaps it would be more convenient for you if he was, because you want to make excuses for him?
And even if he is an Aspie?
If he learned how to run a convention and a business, he can make an effort to learn not to pressure a woman who repeatedly told him no.
I know plenty of people on the spectrum. They make an effort. They might be awkward in public, but they make an effort, because they know there might be an issue with reading cues. But this is not a case of social cues. Valentine told him NO on multiple occasions and he kept pushing and pushing and pushing. By excusing such behaviors with an imaginary and completely unsubstantiated diagnosis, you are doing a huge disservice not only to victims of harassment - you are also strongly othering people on the spectrum who are working so hard to function in a neurotypical society.
You are also doing a disservice to these men, who CAN and SHOULD learn better, but are taught that they can make clever excuses and just keep going.
As a mother of a child on the moderate to severe end of the spectrum, I find this offensive.
When my little boy integrated into mainstream kindergarten last year, this was his first time among neurotypical children. In his excitement he was running around and pulling other kids' hair. We worked patiently for months to teach him not to do this. He got it. We are still teaching him to respect other people's spaces (he's better, but not perfect) and listen to other people's no (he's pretty good at that). My little boy is doing much better with the concept of boundaries, but until he is able to consciously control himself 100%, he cannot be integrated in the classroom without full-time aide supervision.
If you would expect no less from a minimally-verbal, moderately-to-severely impacted 5 year old who has had an official diagnosis for most of his life, why are you willing to be lenient towards a charming, friendly adult man who has chaired a Worldcon, is well-known in fandom, is a father, has good friends, writes for Tor, owns a business, - in short, has shown himself competent in complex social situations - just because he might be an Aspie, even though there is absolutely no indication that he might be? Perhaps it would be more convenient for you if he was, because you want to make excuses for him?
And even if he is an Aspie?
If he learned how to run a convention and a business, he can make an effort to learn not to pressure a woman who repeatedly told him no.
I know plenty of people on the spectrum. They make an effort. They might be awkward in public, but they make an effort, because they know there might be an issue with reading cues. But this is not a case of social cues. Valentine told him NO on multiple occasions and he kept pushing and pushing and pushing. By excusing such behaviors with an imaginary and completely unsubstantiated diagnosis, you are doing a huge disservice not only to victims of harassment - you are also strongly othering people on the spectrum who are working so hard to function in a neurotypical society.
You are also doing a disservice to these men, who CAN and SHOULD learn better, but are taught that they can make clever excuses and just keep going.
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