A Brief Conversation About The Wonderous Art Of Tailspinning.

“I have decided I want to become a depressive womanizer.” – Charles Martin.

“That sounds atrocious.” – Will Weinke.

“You think so?” – Charles Martin.

“Absolutely.” – Will Weinke.

“But women love that sort of thing.” – Charles Martin.

“What, in God’s name, make’s you think women love a depressive womanizer?” – Will Weinke.

“Look at that mopey Edward vampire kid from Twilight. He’s got hordes of women lusting after him. I want a piece of that.” – Charles Martin.

“You do realize that Twilight is all about abstinence until marriage, right?” – Will Weinke.

“Oh, no, I haven’t really watched any of the movies. But still, the world is brimming with dour musicians getting all kinds of tail. What do they have that I don’t?” – Charles Martin.

“Leather pants and perfect pitch?” – Will Weinke.

“Well, perfect pitch I will grant you, but I would look damn good in leather pants.” – Charles Martin.

“I’m sorry about Karen.” – Will Weinke.

(Charles Martin paused to finish his beer, his eyes dragged down to the table as if he was reading his own obituary.)

“Yeah, me too.” – Charles Martin.

“Are you okay?” – Will Weinke.

“You know me, made of steel. Oh, and speaking of which, I am sorry I’ve kind of fallen behind on the comic script. I really am excited about it, its just been a weird couple of weeks.” – Charles Martin.

“I can imagine. Take you’re time. We are in no hurry.” – Will Weinke.

“Still, I don’t like having things undone…”

(Charles Martin gestured for silence as the waitress approached with another round of beers, as if we were huddled together amidst a clandestine meeting charting out the overthrow of a brutal, totalitarian regime rather than sculpting a simple comic book pitch. I humored him with a solemn nod. Charles Martin’s beaming smile melts the moment the waitress turns away from the table.)

“Charles, how are you doing, really?” – Will Weinke.

“Fine and terrible. It just matters when you ask me, I suppose.” – Charles Martin.

“Is there anything I can do?” – Will Weinke.

“No, but thank you.” – Charles Martin.

“How was your birthday?” – Will Weinke.

“Appropriate. I woke up on Karen’s side of the bed again.” – Charles Martin.

“Extra real estate is a good thing.” – Will Weinke.

“I feel myself tumbling into her void.” – Charles Martin.

“Oh.” – Will Weinke.

“Sorry, let’s talk about something else.” – Charles Martin.

“No, let’s talk about this. It is important.” – Will Weinke.

“Is it? I suppose so. It’s nothing special, I am merely adrift like anyone would be in this situation. I will wash ashore somewhere, eventually. Surely.” – Charles Martin.

“Do you have someone you can talk to about this?” – Will Weinke.

“Who? I have had only two close and trusted friends in my life. One died. The other just abandoned me. And you, you don’t even exist. No, there is no one. I will work it out myself. I’m made of steel, after all.” – Charles Martin.

“You really are committed to being a depressive womanizer, huh?” – Will Weinke.

“You have no idea. Ready for another beer?” – Charles Martin.

“Always.” – Will Weinke.

 

- Will Weinke