How to get a waiter to come to your table immediately.

Pray.

There it is, a secret we Christians have been holding on to for years. Guarded closely by the Knights of Red Lobster, lo’ these many years, most Christians don’t dare breathe these words for fear that our secret will lose its power.

But it is true: If you ever want to get a waiter or a waitress to come over to your table, just start praying.

The second you bow your head, they will appear at your table. The moment your eyes close, they will materialize at your side.

Need a refill on the water? Start praying.

Need more rolls? Start praying.

Need a different salt shaker because your kid licked the top of the one at your table? OK, probably just my family.

With a prayer interrupting radar that is more highly tuned than my ability to tell the difference between Polo shirts and the ones I wore as a kid (Knights of the Round Table), waiters will arrive.

Secret is out.

You’re welcome.