Back from “Stay-cation”

So I’m back from a week of vacation, not that anyone would notice. I took a week off from my day job. Believe it or not, writing is not all the glamorous book signings and parties you may imagine. I must support myself with another job or I might one day find my fridge empty of champagne and caviar. When I returned to work today I was asked the usual clever questions that seem to automatically follow a return from vacation. For example:

“Cool! Where did you go?”

“No where. I just stayed at home on the couch. Beautiful.”

This reply generally kills things, though could still elicit something like “welcome back” or “well that sounds nice”. However today I got something interesting.  I was told that I took a “stay-cation“. Cool!  I did something trendy for once!

The fine art of stay-cation has apparently caught on with people feeling the squeeze of the crap economy. Well, I’ve been doing stay-cations long before they became the in-thing.  I think it’s a great way to relax and forget about work. After all, I pay so much damn money for this house. Why not spend some time in it when I can?

One of the risks of stay-cations is that your boss will assume you’re not really on vacation. Somehow by not going someplace you are no longer deserving of having your own time. They will feel it’s fine to call or text you with something like “I know you’re on vacation, but…..” However, your co-worker who took a trip to Canada to see the world’s largest hockey stick would never be disturbed. It’s not fair. It’s also discriminatory. But what can you do?

I like lying about it. Lying allows you to create a very dramatic and exciting vacation for little or no cost. You can literally go anywhere in the world, and your stay-cation won’t be disturbed. I’d take in some extra Travel Channel time that week, if I were you. Also, you will need a good cover story for why you don’t have pictures. Otherwise, bon voyage!

I am a committed stay-cation man. I can hardly wait for the next one!