Another Perspective Check
What the hell is wrong with people who write and read books? A surfeit of egotism? A dearth of humor? An oft-misguided fondness for drama?
So the big flap now is about "bullying." Authors bullying reviewers; reviewers bullying authors; authors bullying each other.
WTF?
You know why this irks me? (Well, of course you don't, unless you're psychic.) I'll tell you why. Because there are kids and adults, queer and straight, who are psychologically and physically broken by bullying. Some of them lose their lives to it or take their lives because of it. They're stalked, harassed, humiliated, threatened, and hurt. THIS is bullying. (And I won't even get into the issue of cruelty against innocent animals, because I'll wind myself up to the point of raving incoherence.)
I've lost patience with the whining. On both sides. Unless a serious threat is posed to your privacy, peace of mind, and/or physical well-being, and the execution of that threat seems imminent or at least probable, quit your bellyaching. Suck it up, if for no other reason than out of deference to the victims of genuine, hardcore bullies -- schoolyard and street thugs, horrific parents, fundie ignoramuses, controlling, abusive partners, sexual predators, terrorist organizations, authoritarian and militaristic regimes. The list goes on. These are the kinds of individuals and groups who do real damage to others.
Please, stop devaluing the worldwide, species-wide problem of bullying by lumping it together with (often inadvertent) insensitivity, lack of civility, and criticism. I've gotten my butt whupped by reviewers, and I've seen reviewers get their butts whupped by authors -- and, yeah, it stings -- but never have I thought of these behaviors as anything but a result of putting a product on the market.
The way I see it, one person's perception of another person's shitheadedness is usually the result of some fairly common breakdown in communication. The Internet fosters misunderstanding. So do the normal variables of human nature. We're not all compatible: we don't share the same level of literacy, intelligence, intuition, and insight; we don't share the same sense of humor, tastes, and life experiences. If somebody's words bother you, or if you find his/her manner abrasive, walk away from that person and go about your business. Cry if you feel like crying. Vent to friends and family members. But resist joining the confederacy of dunces (apologies to Mr. Swift and Mr. Toole) who are distinguished chiefly by their eagerness to take umbrage at . . . well, at just about anything.
Most important, don't diminish the suffering of bullying's true victims. Pause and think about Matthew Shepard, or Jerry Sandusky's young prey. Think of an anonymous black man hanging from a tree. Or the casualties of the 9-11 attacks. Maybe you won't feel quite so "bullied" anymore.
Syrian mass funeral, courtesy of the National Post (Canada)
So the big flap now is about "bullying." Authors bullying reviewers; reviewers bullying authors; authors bullying each other.
WTF?
You know why this irks me? (Well, of course you don't, unless you're psychic.) I'll tell you why. Because there are kids and adults, queer and straight, who are psychologically and physically broken by bullying. Some of them lose their lives to it or take their lives because of it. They're stalked, harassed, humiliated, threatened, and hurt. THIS is bullying. (And I won't even get into the issue of cruelty against innocent animals, because I'll wind myself up to the point of raving incoherence.)
I've lost patience with the whining. On both sides. Unless a serious threat is posed to your privacy, peace of mind, and/or physical well-being, and the execution of that threat seems imminent or at least probable, quit your bellyaching. Suck it up, if for no other reason than out of deference to the victims of genuine, hardcore bullies -- schoolyard and street thugs, horrific parents, fundie ignoramuses, controlling, abusive partners, sexual predators, terrorist organizations, authoritarian and militaristic regimes. The list goes on. These are the kinds of individuals and groups who do real damage to others.Please, stop devaluing the worldwide, species-wide problem of bullying by lumping it together with (often inadvertent) insensitivity, lack of civility, and criticism. I've gotten my butt whupped by reviewers, and I've seen reviewers get their butts whupped by authors -- and, yeah, it stings -- but never have I thought of these behaviors as anything but a result of putting a product on the market.
The way I see it, one person's perception of another person's shitheadedness is usually the result of some fairly common breakdown in communication. The Internet fosters misunderstanding. So do the normal variables of human nature. We're not all compatible: we don't share the same level of literacy, intelligence, intuition, and insight; we don't share the same sense of humor, tastes, and life experiences. If somebody's words bother you, or if you find his/her manner abrasive, walk away from that person and go about your business. Cry if you feel like crying. Vent to friends and family members. But resist joining the confederacy of dunces (apologies to Mr. Swift and Mr. Toole) who are distinguished chiefly by their eagerness to take umbrage at . . . well, at just about anything.
Most important, don't diminish the suffering of bullying's true victims. Pause and think about Matthew Shepard, or Jerry Sandusky's young prey. Think of an anonymous black man hanging from a tree. Or the casualties of the 9-11 attacks. Maybe you won't feel quite so "bullied" anymore.
Syrian mass funeral, courtesy of the National Post (Canada)
No comments have been added yet.
