My Return To Facebook, And A General Dislike Of “Liking”

Yep, chances are I received your

Chipping away at these whenever possible, but I’ve yet to get the digits beneath that damn 99+ mark . . .

And — of course — no shortage of

Is your step-sister a dental hygienist in Helsinki who’s decided to pursue her dreams as a model for Wikipedia creative commons imagery? Well, by all means — start zapping those “invites to ‘like’” [ which in and of itself it just so. . . umm, yeah ]. Even better if she’s pushy and spams my page with messages about “how much she’d appreciate my feedback” [ in layman's terms, this act is often referred to as "fishing for compliments" ]

Which, in my current state of communication vexation

This thumb? Right up the bum! [ I mean, you know, like : "Generally speaking . . . " ]

Was the impetus for a little ratio spot-and-check

Hrmm, Let’s see. Out of the 4,676 Very Close Friends I’ve accumulated on the cesspool of the internet — I wonder how many have exerted the effort to . . .

Oh. Really? 279. Well, I realize I haven’t exactly inundated folks with “Invitations to ‘Like’,” but

Ah, but hold up a second! With over a thousand people/bands/films in the social mumbo-gumbo that comprises my own likes, the support might be . . .

285? 285. Bullshit. Make no mistake : baby, I get the game ; I’m fully cognizant of the

No color hues here — this shit is black and white.

nonchalant game I’m expected to play . . . but here’s the thing :

Seriously, darling. This is not a topic worth the energy exerted by “bluffing.”

I mean, it’s not a difficult formula, kids.

Oh. You aren’t the least bit fond of me or “What I Do“? Well, I didn’t twist any titties for my friends list, tiger. If your motivation’s skeezy, high time you slather some boody-smooch gloss on those lips!

Go to one of the public pages listed above. Click “like”; leave a generic comment.

I mean : if you’re “put out” by showing support on a stupid social media page? Doesn’t sound like much of the Call-Me-Anytime / I’m-Here-For-You type. Ah, and another thing? I bet you’re a total yawn in bed. As if anyone who settles for that “68-and-Owe-One” routine you’d ever respect, anyway . . .

Can’t be bothered, honey? I’ll try and survive. As for the “Fan Page” you zap an invitation within seconds of a friend approval, or that idiotic “You can RT and share!” repeated as if a Special Ed mantra [ NoWay. Really? You'd bestow me with such an honor? ]. Exponentially more so : as for the 27 reminders that you still need to raise $10K for your Kickstarter [ when bitch, I don't even know your real name ; what makes you think I owe your pipe dream anything? ]

Ain’t Nancin’ around ; just sayin’ : I’m Just Sayin’

And if the notion’s too challenging for you to comprehend? Friggin’ Life Alert. So sorry I’m not sorry for your loss . . .

Otherwise, re: the two hundred something-or-other folks to whom this note does not apply? I looked through the entire list, and rather than weepy-time over Hollywood Hos whose absence came as no surprise : what gave mad smileage — and I’m talkin’ the kind where I feel like a goon, ’cause I feel my face go all Gomer Pyle about it — are those of you whom I didn’t expect.

You know who you are . . . though the extent of my appreciation? More than you realize, quite “likely.” ♥