Two Things

This is our 6th installment of “Motherhood Monday”. Can you believe it? We’ve already spent 5 weeks talking about some of the ins and outs of being a mom. Hopefully, you’ve gleaned that I’m about as far from perfect as one can be. Raising my 3 sons takes all of the maturity that every mistake I make brings. And whether you’re house is filled with Barbie dolls and hair bows or swords and superhero capes, I’m sure you feel the same way. We’re all on a journey through the joyful, chaotic maze of motherhood. I thought I’d end our “Motherhood Monday” series by offering you two bits of very distinct yet equally important insight that I hope you’ll take to heart.

1.  Give Other Mothers A Break.  

I've often noticed the hurtful cycle of one mother looking down upon another because she chooses to parent her child in a way that is different or unique. One mom chooses to homeschool while the other is fine with a public education. One mom births her babies at home without medication (Lord bless her) while the other has signed up for an epidural when she just 6 weeks along. One mom decides that organic foods are the way to go, while another picks up whatever her coupons will cut down to the half price. One chooses to discipline a certain way and the other chooses a way that is distinctly different. One chooses to nurse for full year while another is appalled at the notion of another part of her body being confiscated . . . again. We should give each other a break – not trying to change each other’s methods or convince each other that our way is better. Our goal should be to applaud those around us at the playground or in our child’s kindergarten class. Even if we don’t agree with their choices, our desire should be to give them the same encouragement that is so refreshing when it is offered to us. They are doing the best they can. . . just like you are. I’m not saying we should share our methods when appropriate, I’m just saying we should judge them if, in the end, they don’t agree or choose an alternate method.

Don’t judge them.  

Bless them. 
 

2.  Be Deliberate about raising your children.                                                                          Most successful businesses have a mission statement – a declaration of their purpose and vision for the future. They don’t fly by the seat of their pants in obtaining their goals instead they set a strategic course of action in place and methodically head in that direction.  

The most important task parents will ever take on is rearing their young ones into adults that are lovers of God, considerate of others and responsible in society. Yet, so many leave this critical, lifetime task to chance and just hope for the best outcome. Why wouldn’t we take this job as seriously as a president would his thriving business? After all, the very soul of our children is at stake. Create a short mission statement for your children and keep it at the forefront of your mind when making daily parenting decisions. If you are raising boys, your statement might include a focus not only on responsibility and consideration of others, but also on learning how to show respect for women, preparing them to fill well their future role as leaders in their homes. If girls, your statement might address such themes as excellence, initiative, and responsiveness to others’ needs, as well as fostering in them an appreciation for modesty. Based on these statements, you can carefully, methodically spend these years doing what is required for these practices to become a regular routine in your children’s lives.

One couple we know, who is raising five children, included in their mission statement a deep desire to teach their kids to honor others by encouraging them to go beyond their normal responsibilities to inconspicuously do kind things for someone else. In order to accomplish this, they frequently ask each child how they can strategically honor one of their siblings—perhaps by making their bed for them, or cleaning their plate from the table instead of just taking away their own.

They also included a sentence about responsibility in their statement. So they resist the naturally parental urge to repeatedly rescue or resolve every little problem their children are facing. When someone forgets to take his lunch with him, Mom doesn’t automatically race to the school with sack in hand. When someone lets a homework deadline slip up on her, Mom and Dad clearly remind but sometimes allow the child to suffer the consequences of waiting till the last minute. If the kids break a window after being clearly told not to play with that ball in the house, they can expect to pay for at least a portion of the repair with their own money. These parents want their children to know that many of the things they enjoy simply as a result of being their children are not rights but privileges. And in order to maintain them, they must learn not to take them for granted. If they do, they lose the privilege.

The statement that this mother and father crafted is only 5 sentences but it hangs on the wall near their kitchen table and is a continual reminder of what matters most for their children’s future. They make strategic decisions to align with the crafted mission for their kids.

My hope is that you’ve enjoyed these 6 times we’ve met on “Motherhood Monday” and that you’ve gleaned something to encourage you in your mothering. Now, take it a step further by writing down a mission for your kids. It won’t take you long but will guide the next decades of your life and theirs.

 
There’s much more to come this week for “Wife Wednesday”, “Theology Thursday” and “Freedom Friday” and of course we’ll be giving away our “Sizzling Sassy Summer Grand Prize Give-A-Way” that you still have a chance to enter for!

So, “keep coming back, ya hear”?

 

Love you dearly,

Priscilla