What if Excitement Leads to Bipolar Mania?

“Are you manic Julie?” said my friend Marsha when I just talked to her on the phone.


Gosh darn it! I hate that question! (I used stronger language than gosh darn it!)She then said, “I’m sorry Julie. I always feel like I’m the one with the bad news.”


I said, “Well, you’re using the Health Cards and being honest with me. I often need that if I’m mildly manic. I just don’t know if I am though. Maybe I’m just excited because my hands are better and I can finally write again?”I know that the above answer to her “are you manic” question- means I’m hypomanic. I ALWAYS try to justify the mania. Maybe it’s just the real me! Maybe it’s just that it’s sunny outside. Maybe it’s not what it seems!


It’s always what it seems. I know that if more than one person thinks I’m manic- I’m manic. It’s not excitement that causes it. It’s bipolar disorder. In other words, if I’m excited and feel like having a beer in the afternoon and staying up all night with the wrong people, it’s mania.  I rarely drink outside of mania.


Excitement is contained. It is a response to something. The kind of excitement I feel when I’m manic is so beyond what non bipolar people feel. And I have to remember that and respect it when the people in my life point it out.


$%#$%#

Darn it.

Unfair.


It feels so good when compared to the terrible depression I often have.


No fair!


Do you have a mania plan? I know that mine keeps my relationships, bank account, drinking and decisions under control.


Thank you Marsha


Julie


Related posts:
Bipolar Depression and Mania (euphoric and dysphoric)
Watch out for summer bipolar mania….
Summer Mania

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Published on July 15, 2012 07:29
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