The Bachelorette and Arranged Marriages
I’m not a fan of the The Bachelor and The Bachelorette shows. I’d watched the first few seasons of the shows. I was intrigued by the concept of falling in love and deciding to spend your life with someone in just a few weeks. But, it seemed that most of these TV relationships had difficulty sustaining the dilemmas of real life. I became a bit bored with the programs and haven’t watched the last few seasons.
But, recently, The Bachelorette has caught my eye. Bachelorette Emily Maynard has been sifting through her swarm of bachelors these past few weeks, eliminating them one-by-one with the hope of finding Mr. Right. But, rumors have cropped up that the real connection she is developing is not with any of the contestants on the show. Rumor has it that she and the programs host, Chris Harrison, have fallen madly in love.
Nothing is confirmed. This is merely speculation at this point. Maynard and Harrison both deny it and insiders who work on the program claim it’s all false and that the two are merely very good friends.
In May, Chris and his wife announced that after 18 years, they were calling it quits. Could it be that all the time around Maynard Harrison realized his true feelings for her and asked for a divorce? Or, could it be that due to the divorce and because Maynard and Harrison are good friends, that the media has created a love story that doesn’t exist? We will all probably know for sure in a few months. But, the situation has made me ponder the spontaneity of love.
The Bachelorette has created a world where love is nearly inevitable (at least temporarily). There are beautiful people, roses, romantic dates, and the promise of a ring. Meals and clothes and excursions are created to get the relationship juices flowing for Maynard and her harem of men. Yet, if the rumors are true, she’s fallen for “the wrong guy”, a married man, the host of the show, none of them men that were hand-picked specifically for her.
What does that tell us? Love can not be designed. It just happens. True love may crop up in the place we least expect it. But, when it does, what do we do? Do we go for it, even if it means ruining a marriage and the disappointing millions of television viewers as well as TV execs and sponsors? Or do we take the path that was created for us? I get a lot of people from the Middle East who ask for relationship advice, who tell me that they are in arranged marriages. I know that these marriages can succeed, but I also understand why the ones that don’t succeed, don’t.
I don’t want to step on any cultural toes, but as a relationship advisor who is not from a culture where arranged marriages are the norm, I feel like parents finding their children’s spouses is not unlike TV producers trying to end their season with a wedding on The Bachelorette. Who knows, maybe the real connection is not between the arranged spouses, but maybe true love lies with the caterer or florist, or even TV show host.
