In Praise of Tact

I’ve been dealing with my deceased mother’s estate, and it’s been remarkable how people can be either crass or overly kind, or totally clueless. I put the bank in this last category, firmly.

Strangely enough the person with the most kindness and delicacy and, yes, tact, has been the auctioneer’s assistant – the lady who comes and selects what will be suitable for auction. This is a delicate task. I can imagine a person of lesser abilities stamping past the shelves of beloved Tchotchkies with a mercenary and hawkish eye, rejecting the half of it and gazing critically at the remainder. Because that is what the job boils down to. But to do this with charm and delicacy, not ruffling any feathers or exciting any opposition, that takes empathy and real diplomatic-corps level tact.

For this is not just another job. Approached with care it becomes a way to help relatives let go of the dead loved one, and do so without guilt, without twinges of doubt. It’s a way of helping us all to say good bye to a person, a life, a shared past.

Thank you, Charlotte Grey of Weller’s Auctions. Thank you.