'A Tree of Fear' reading at Gallery 527 in Jerome

Reading at Jerome's Gallery 527 for
the Stain of Politics show
I am afraid.Should I die, will my regrets wake up with me in that realm?Will those things I failed to do lay beside me in the grimy reality of hell?A claw scrapes my jawline, my daughter's talons tell me I've never been a good enough parent. Her words cut across my throat.While I live, devoid of things you have, there is a chance. I am one of 643,000 souls without a home tonight.Paying for the children I love dearly, for the cheating knife that pierced my soul.Paying for the education that landed me $10 an hour before the layoffs.Paying for healthcare that makes me sick with stress.I sit on a bench with no future.Out of 643,000 souls, one of every four call the sidewalk their mattress.I stare into the locked window of an empty home in a foreclosure.In my back pocket are pictures of an old life, before blackness swallowed it, when I fixed fences and swept driveways and hosted sleepovers on the weekends.The mortgage company listened to me beg and plead just because. They knew their answer was no. I offered my soul like the worst kind of whore - to keep a small scrap - and they said no without blinking.One of every 305 homes in Arizona sits in foreclosure.I am a father to children I rarely lay eyes upon. I'm a son to a dead mother - and a laughable memory to a forgotten father.I am someone who once read the newspaper every morning, who walked the dogs and made waffles, who voted and cared about hot-button issues. I am someone who tried to make a better life and failed.And I pay for it everyday.Since 2007, 3.6 million homes have been shuttered by the bank from foreclosure.I am afraid to die. My daughter and son will hate me for it.And controlling interests may be there as well, expecting payment.