Third Wheel Bummer
Sarah Symonds was a new name to me until I saw an interview with her on 20/20 this week. She’s known for being “the other woman.” She runs a “Mistresses Anonymous” group for mistresses as well as hosts a TV show in Canada called The Mistress and wrote a book about being that other woman.
She has made a career on being a mistress. or fifteen years, she’s dated high profile, married celebs, and that really bugged me. See, normally I feel that the other woman is not really as responsible for ruining a marriage when it comes to infidelity as the married man. He’s the one who has committed to his wife, not his mistress. Morally, of course, she shouldn’t get involved with a married man, but if he’s willing, it’s his responsibility, not hers.
And, I also understand that sometimes an affair occurs with neither party planning on it. It just happens, but in Symonds’ case, she did it repeatedly…with many married men, for fifteen years…and they were all rich and/or famous. So, it didn’t “just happen.” She specifically looked for married high profile men and pounced. Yes, the men should be strong enough to resist. It’s still their responsibility to their wives, but if she attacked enough men, she was bound to land a few affairs.
The thing is, though, that before I could rip her apart, she admitted that these relationships were dysfunctional. She had no excuses and claimed to be a reformed mistress. Her mission now is to help other women get out of these “third wheel” situations. She sees being a mistress akin to an addiction.
So, why am I talking about her here? Because there were a couple things I found interesting. She said that it’s in a man’s DNA to cheat. I don’t like hearing that, but I understand what she means. Another way to put it is that primitive man was driven to propagate the species which meant having multiple partners. Although as a culture we have decided that monogamy is best, often men have to fight their physiology to make that happen. She gave this advice to married women, “Act like you are his mistress.” And, I agree with that wholeheartedly. If you have an affair with your partner, you keep the excitement alive and keep each other from straying. I wrote this piece specifically on that.
When it comes down to it, just be strong in your resolve to remain loyal to your partner as well as keep the passion fresh.
