Because I like you, I totally want us to celebrate Independence Day together. I considered showing up at your house with a sack full of illegal fireworks and a bottle of tequila, but I seem to recall having to hitchike home naked from the pet store last year.
So, this time I’m just going to give you a present and let it go at that. I think we can both agree that’s the smart thing, even, dare I say it, the adult thing to do.