Fifty Shades Effed - Chapter Twenty (Epilogue)

I'm at Poinsettia Park, playing catch with my lovely daughter, Gerty. She's an all-star junior in high school, and one of the best pitchers in the nation. Her sister, Dee, is in the on-deck circle, hovering over a tripod while focusing a high-speed camera.



*WHAPPP*



"Ouch! Take it easy on the old man, will ya?"

"Oh, Dad."

"Seriously. I'm not wearing a cup. Straight stuff only."



*ZZZIP*



Dee's camera clicks off numerous shots with every pitch. I take a quick water break.



"I thought twins were supposed to be alike. You should be catching your sister."

"Sports are silly, except for their artistic qualities," she responds while showing me an action photo in on the camera.

"Nice."

"We need about a dozen more good ones for the yearbook."

"Great. I'm going to need a thicker glove."



As I head back behind the plate, Bea is sitting in the stands smiling at me.



"How are you holding up?"

"I'm fine."

"Could be worse. You could have a son throwing in the nineties."

"Good point and, just so you know, I'm not opposed to having another go at my little Pippino."

"That will be up to your daughters. Better start working on them now."

"Grandson Pippino. Perfecto!"



I put the catcher's mask on and squat.



"OK, baby doll. Let her fly."

"Pop?"

"Yes."



*BZZZT*



"I've been kind of seeing someone, and he asked if I'd go to the Senior Prom."

"You've been seeing him or seeing him?"

"Ugh. You know."

"No, and I'm not sure I want to."

"Whatever."



*SSSNAP*



"Anyway, he's a nice guy. He plays baseball."

"All right, that's one good thing."

"He got accepted to Stanford."

"Two. Does he treat you like a lady?"

"Of course. In fact, just yesterday he gave me the most romantic gift."

"Flowers?"

"No, a butt plug," she winks.



*FFFFFT, BOINK, CRACK* ... sinkerball, square in the nuts.