Things She’s Gained and Lost Once She Left the Workforce

FROM A MOTHER IN SOUTH AFRICA

Things I’ve gained and lost when I left the (government-controlled) workforce as a teacher in my 40’s:

Gained:
1. Presence and time with my precious children
2. Freedom to choose how I fill my day (not endless to- do-lists I don’t want to participate in)
3. Peace over pointless drama
4. A regulated nervous system
5. Balanced cortisol and hormones = better health
6. A healthy gut
7. Peaceful sleep at night
8. Improved mental health
9. New hobbies like baking sourdough bread
10. Energy to form new connections (even building lasting friendships)
11. Most importantly: More intimate relationship with my Father in Heaven as a result of having more time for Bible study, journaling and prayer
12. More fulfillment, life satisfaction, and happiness
13. Zest for life!
14. My sense of humor (Yes, I belly laugh again and enjoy my life)
15. Contentment and gratefulness
16. Time for charity (since my cup is full I can now pour from the overflow)
17. Time for silence and reflection
18. Independence from coping meds (now, unmedicated and free)

Lost:
1. Toxic work cultures
2. A dysregulated nervous system due to constant flight/fight mode
3. Crazy anxiety due to chronic stress and micro-management
4. Sky high cortisol due to being overwhelmed and exhausted
5. Insecurities due to exposure of daily disrespect/disregard
6. Burnout due to nervous system overload
7. No work/life balance
8. Chronic fatigue
9. Depression (by being surrounded by draining people)
10. Poor sleep at night (nervous system overload)
11. Unhealthy coping mechanisms like consumerism, food, noise, alcohol, or anything to numb the pain and release fake happiness
12. Resentment (for not being able to quit and feminism who sold us a lie: “Women can do it all!” Spoiler alert: We can BUT at what cost? Something is going to give. And usually it is the marriage.)
13. Rage (for witnessing unfairness and having zero control over it)
14. Mom guilt (for dropping my baby with strangers for eight hours every day)
15. Resentment for having two jobs: one exhausting job teaching other people’s children all day long and then being too depleted for my real job I actually want to do: being a wife and mother
16. Mental instability
17. Jealous of mothers who have the privilege to raise their own children full-time and not with what little energy is left in your “free-time”
18. Office gossip
19. Surveillance cameras masquerading as colleagues
20. Fake connections and forced small talk with people you don’t like and who don’t like you (like in the mutual kitchen) when making coffee
21. Constant noise and overstimulating environments especially in between classes on the corridors
22. Never ending paperwork that is time consuming  and energy wasting
23. Unnecessary competition – Certain colleagues love to compete with you without your mutual agreement
24. Boring nit-picking meetings
25. Dealing with big ego’s and small minds
26. Lousy staff surprises. Just let me do my job, pay me and send me home!
27. Dependence on meds to cope. Ask any teacher nowadays…
28. The desire to start a family during my fertile years due to burnout. Lucky for me, God is forgiving and granted me two natural pregnancies at age 39 and 41, but I very well could have ended up childless and missed out on my biggest blessing from above! The tragedy even thinking about the loss of joy I would’ve experienced had the Holy Spirit not convicted me. At the age of 38, after tumultuous years as a married teacher, I was convicted to give up my birth control and let God decide whether we should have children or not. It turned out that I was getting in His way because if I could easily conceive at age 38 and again at 40, then I can only imagine how many lovely kids we could have had today!

Marry young and have children, women. This is the best use of your time here on earth. Nothing else will satisfy. It is what we are called to do, not to compete with men in the work force. And God commands women to be keepers at home so they don’t blaspheme the word of God (Titus 2:5).

With love,
A mother from South-Africa

For as the heavens are higher than the earth, so are my ways higher than your ways, and my thoughts than your thoughts.
Isaiah 55:9

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