Stuff (Single) Christian (Girls) Like: Getting Upset With Guys For Not Acting Like Real Men
(It’s guest post Friday! Here’s one by John Crist. You can check out his website here and follow him on Twitter @johnbcrist. If you want to write a guest post for SCL, here’s how!)
Stuff (Single) Christian (Girls) Like: Getting Upset With Guys For Not Acting Like Real Men
One time I pursued a girl for 11 months and she had no idea it was happening.
I thought pursuing a girl consisted of texting her once in a while, checking out her Facebook photos, and asking her to come over and watch a movie in my (parents’) basement.
Wait, girls need more than this now? Since when?
All this happened when I was 15. And by 15, I mean 26.
Christian girls have become increasingly intolerant of Christian bros these days…and maybe for good reason. As a 28-yr-old guy who eats Lunchables, considers getting in the pool as bathing, and still accesses his bed via ladder, I’m not above this criticism. But ladies, I assure you: we’ve all heard your concerns.
Here are the 10 most common statements guys hear from Christian women. (And, for the sake of equality, the average guys’ response…)
Girls’ Statement:
I need a man that is really going to pursue me.
Guys’ Response:
Yeah, I was game for that… until I saw your ‘101 Non-Negotiable Future Husband Qualities’ list. I’ll pass, thanks.
Girls’ Statement:
He plays a lot of video games.
Guys’ Response:
I’m just doing what I’m passionate about. Isn’t that what Jesus would have wanted?
Girls’ Statement:
He seemed interested after our second date, but then I never heard from him again.
Guys’ Response:
You gave me a pre-highlighted copy of The Five Love Languages, asked me to meet your parents and, if we had a girl, what I thought about the name Sophia with a P-H instead of an F.
Girls’ Statement:
I think he has anger management issues.
Guys’ Response:
I’m just really competitive.
Girls’ Statement:
He spends a lot of time playing fantasy sports.
Guys’ Response:
You watch The Bachelorette. Same thing.
Girls’ Statement:
He just doesn’t seem to have any real ambition in life.
Guys’ Response:
Since when do church internships not count as a future plan?!
Girls’ Statement:
Why can’t this 25-yr-old guy be as spiritually mature as my 55-yr-old pastor?
Guys’ Response:
Um, I’m 25.
Girls’ Statement:
I don’t like to watch guy movies like Die Hard or Transformers because they’re not realistic.
Guys’ Response:
You’re favorite movie is The Notebook, that’s not realistic either.
Girls’ Statement:
He’s always using the “Water into Wine” argument to defend his excessive drinking habits.
Guys’ Response:
For. The. Last. Time… JESUS DRANK!!!
Girls’ Statement:
I don’t ask for much, just a combination of Bradley Cooper, Thor and Ryan Reynolds.
Guys’ Response:
I’m not taking you to the movies anymore.
Here’s the thing. Single men and women are both living in a fantasyland. Guys like to play video games and fantasy sports because it makes us feel like real men, like we’re accomplishing something greater than our abilities. There is no game called Fantasy Wendy’s Manager…because we can go make that a reality tomorrow.
But both sexes are guilty of living in the same fantasy world. A top 10 non-negotiable husband qualities list is a fantasy. Most of the dating shows women watch feature a first date that includes a helicopter ride to an exotic waterfall where the couple feeds each other chocolate covered strawberries. Then I take a girl to Chili’s, and I’m a jerk. Its 2/$20…and it comes WITH dessert! C’mon ladies!
Conclusion: Dudes, get it together. Women, be realistic.
(If you want to read more from John, check out his website.)
