I Know Bawdy

When most people think of the poetry of Robert Frost, they probably think of lilting lines about New England settings, rural life, natural phenomena, everyday events, and colloquial speech. Few realize, though, that Frost had a bit of a bawdy side. Consider his poem “The Objection To Being Stepped On”:

At the end of the row
I stepped on the toe
Of an unemployed hoe.
It rose in offense
And struck me a blow
In the seat of my sense.
It wasn't to blame
But I called it a name.
And I must say it dealt
Me a blow that I felt
Like a malice prepense.
You may call me a fool,
But was there a rule
The weapon should be
Turned into a tool?
And what do we see?
The first tool I step on
Turned into a weapon.

I tried my hand at "updating" some of Frost's poems for the 21st century by re-writing them in hip-hop lingo for my book Great American Poems – REPOEMED. The re-written version of this poem starts out like this:


Ayo— saw her on the dance flo
Werkin it. Getting lo lo.
Turn out she an unemployed hoe


Another poem with a naughty nature is E. E. Cummings’ poem “may I feel said he.” It begins like this:


may i feel said he
(i'll squeal said she
just once said he)
it's fun said she

(may i touch said he
how much said she
a lot said he)
why not said she


I also wrote a parody for this poem and that was quite a challenge from the start. Certainly a take-off with a serious theme wouldn’t work, for the original poem might then seem to be the parody. Therefore, a parody warranted humor— but how/what?

My first move was to flip all of Cummings’ “said he’s” and “said she’s” to “he said” and “she said.” With that, I headed in the direction of a spoof about gossip & rumors based on double entendre – but it all seemed too much like the original poem. Then it hit me: I’d use that notorious line, “that’s what she said.” But what would be my theme?

Recently I had written a parody of an Emily Dickinson poem centered on a plumbing problem. While working on that poem, I was amused to discover how many plumbing terms had sexual overtones. Therefore, I decided that my poem would be about a couple repairing a problem with a leaking toilet – and “that’s what she said.”

The internal rhyme structure of the Cummings' poem offered quite a challenge, though (especially since there are few words that rhyme with “plunger”). Hmmm…this reminds me of a time when I came across a bawdy greeting card that stated, “I tried to write a poem about love, but I couldn’t think of a word that rhymed with ‘Venus.’”

Anyway, the final version of my parody turned out to be quite waggish in its own right. It starts out like this:


(there’s sweating she said
water’s jetting he said
check the ballcock she said)
he said that’s what she said

(may i flush she said
it may gush he said
check the o-ring she said)
he said that’s what she said


Finally, while I’m on the subject of racy poems, it might surprise you that even Emily Dickinson penned a few spicy numbers herself, including “Wild Nights!” which opens like this:


Wild nights! Wild nights!
Were I with thee,
Wild nights should be
Our luxury!


I have a parody of that poem which begins “Wild rice! Wild rice!” However, since I’m on the topic of “bawdy” poetry, I thought it would be more appropriate to conclude with my take-off of Dickinson’s “I'm Nobody! Who are you?” It goes like this:


I know Bawdy! Yes I do!
Do you – know Bawdy – too?
Then Truth or Dare for us?
Do tell! Or tantalize – you know.

How titillating – to be – Bawdy!
How naughty – like a Flirt –
To be somewhat saucy – or seductive –
Like an alluring gelatin Dessert!