Lessons from the Lows & Excerpts from My Personal Journal

I used to think success meant a fancy office, a fat revenue line, a sweet house, and an even sweeter car.

I had all that. And then I found out I was broke.

No joke. I had built and sold companies, appeared on stages, had the business cards that made me look legit… and one day…

I’m doing something I’ve never done before. I’m sharing a few excerpts from my journal from years ago. I want to show this to you so you know that our financial journeys, business or personal, are something we can be in control of.

Day 1 (The wake-up call)

I am shaking. I have no other place to put this, so I’m putting it in this journal. It’s Valentine’s Day. Every year, we have a special dinner to celebrate together as a family. We all look forward to it. Only today, my accountant called and told me that while profitable on paper, I am out of cash.

I’m going to throw up now. Then I’m going to hide.

Day 2-25 (Stuck)

I have a hard time getting out of bed. I feel so weighed down and embarrassed. Booze helps, but I can’t start that in the morning. My family needs me. I don’t know how to show up. I can’t tell anyone else.

Day 26 (Realizations)

When my accountant called me at work and laid the bad news on me, I laughed. That uncomfortable kind of laugh where you’re hoping someone is wrong. 

He wasn’t.

I went home, put on my best acting face, and sat at the head of the dinner table. I couldn’t hold it in, and I heard the words spill out of my mouth as I told my wife Krista and the kids that we were in serious trouble. The look on their faces said everything. Fear. Questions. Anxiety. Disappointment 

Then, Adayla (my daughter) left the table and came back with her piggy bank, offering to take care of us all. 

That night, I stared at my reflection in the window and said out loud, “You’re a freaking idiot.”

I need to stop pretending that I have it all figured out. Maybe this is the reality. Maybe these things happen to a lot of people.

Day 27 (Get off your a$$)
I haven’t wanted to get out of bed lately. I’m a little hungover.

But if not for me, I need to get up and start working on a way out of this mess for my family. 

I’m going to go for a run. Maybe that will get the blood flowing and help pull me out of this. 

Day 28 (Nope)

I’m sore. When I was running yesterday, I said I’d start this habit of running six days a week. I drank again last night, and I’ll just go tomorrow. 

Day 29

Maybe I’ve been judgmental of others, but I really get it now, why people feel sorry for themselves. I don’t feel like anyone around me really gets what I’m going through. This sense of failure. This dread. I’m going to try a run. A short one. Because I drank again. 

Day 29

Short entry – I left my sneakers on the toilet last night. This way, when I got up this morning, I’d have to move them to go to the bathroom. I have my sneakers on now and am going for a longer run. 

Day 35

The sneakers on the toilet trick is working. And now, when I’m out there running, I realize I can do this with other things. Like my business. I love creating; my mind is always going onto the next great idea. I think my next great idea is setting up a habit in my business, like I do for my running.

I’ve been grappling with a realization. I’ve spent years building this “entrepreneur” identity,  and now it feels like a lie. 

But is it? Isn’t part of entrepreneurship failing? When we work at corporations, everything is already set up for us, and we have little control over any kind of innovation. 

But that’s one problem I don’t have. I can innovate, create, and change anything I damn well want. 

Holy crap.

Day 35 (Later in the evening)

This morning, after my run, I grabbed a notebook and started writing a business plan, but this came out instead:

You built an empire with no foundation.
You confuse revenue with success.
You’re broke.

Every sentence punched me in the gut. But I needed it.

That’s when it clicked: money isn’t my problem. My behavior is my problem. At home and in my business, I spend first, save last, and convince myself “next month will fix it.” It never did.

So I asked myself one question that changed everything:

What if I change my business account allocations and take profit before paying everything else? That way, I would have the money I need, no matter what came up.

(That was the seed. I didn’t know it yet, but that notebook would become Profit First.)

End of journal entries.

Next steps

Now that I’ve really bared it all, here’s the plan that made no sense (at first)

The morning I started thinking about reallocating the business cash flow, I drove to the bank like a man on a mission. I had to be quick before I lost my nerve.

The banker asked, “Why do you need five checking accounts?”

I said, “Because I clearly can’t be trusted with one.”

He blinked. Then he opened them anyway.

I labeled them: Income. Profit. Taxes. Owner’s Pay. Operating Expenses.

The system was simple: every time money came in, I split it up right away. No mental math. No “I’ll save later.” Later never comes.

That first profit transfer? One percent. Literally a few bucks. But it was mine.

It wasn’t the amount,  it was the motion. For the first time, I paid myself before paying anyone else.

And it felt damn good.

The rhythm
A week in, something weird happened. I felt a little peace.

For the first time in my life, I knew where the money was going. I wasn’t waking up in panic mode, refreshing my bank balance, pretending everything was fine.

The system started working. I started breathing again.

That same rhythm, consistent, structured, reliable, is what would later become Profit First, and now The Money Habit. I didn’t need to be the hero anymore. I just needed a plan that didn’t rely on me having a “good day.”

The lesson I wished I’d learned sooner
Looking back now, I can tell you the lowest point wasn’t when I lost the money.

It was when I lost control. When my self-worth was tied to my business’s revenue, not its reality.

Here’s what I know for sure:

You can’t out-earn bad habits.You can’t out-hustle disorganization.And you can’t build wealth if you’re too afraid to look at your numbers.

When I stopped running from my finances, both business and personal, everything changed.

That 1% transfer grew. The systems grew. And eventually, so did the freedom.

Now, every quarter when I take a profit distribution, I pause for a second and think back to that night at the kitchen table.

The guy who thought he’d lost it all had actually found the foundation for everything he teaches today.

If you’re in your own “Day 1,” here’s my advice:
Don’t panic. Don’t fake it. Don’t wait.

Take your profit or savings first.
Build your systems now.
And please remember that your low isn’t your ending. It’s your starting line.

It’s a bouncy ride. But I know you’ve got this. (Heck if I can come back, anyone can.)

-Mike

PS – Some exciting things are happening!

The Money Habit is available for preorder here. Get peace of mind about money.

My new podcast, Becoming Self-Made, is the free business advice you cannot do without here. I am so excited to have teamed up with Relay on this project, and we’re talking with heavy hitters like Jesse Cole from Savannah Bananas, Don Miller of Storybrand, and many more! Don’t miss out.

Watch the trailer now and get a sneak peek: Watch the TrailerOr visit the podcast homepage for all updates: Becoming Self-Made Podcast

And as always, free resources to support you are here on my website. From the Profit First Assessment to just about anything else you need!

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