Brutal Lessons No One Taught Me, But Life Did

I’ve never been the kind to write motivational listicles. But this one comes from the trenches, from sweaty railway platforms, uncomfortable conference rooms, forgotten bus rides, and lonely hotel nights after addressing packed auditoriums. Over the years, I’ve tasted quite a lot of rejections, stood on just enough podiums, and shared coffee with both sharks and saints to say this with some certainty:

I have always felt triumph doesn’t arrive with trumpets. It comes quietly, and then… it tests you.

Here are five hard-earned lessons life taught me — not in classrooms, but in the messy middle.

1. You Can Count Real Love On Your Fingers: Do It.

I still remember that December evening in Hyderabad when everything seemed to fall apart. A publishing deal was delayed. A colleague is turning opportunist. The person I trusted most said, “Maybe you’re just too much of a dreamer, dude.”

But that night, my wife waited up with filter coffee and rasam rice. No judgment, just the warmth of someone who saw me before the world decided whether I was “worth” anything.

There are very few people who truly love you. Not the author you, not the VP you, not the clever-you-on-stage. Just you — the quiet, messy, unsure version. Hold onto them like oxygen. They’re your real tribe.

2. The World Loves Success. Not You.

When my first book became a minor success, LinkedIn flooded with “Congratulations bro, always knew you had it.” What they didn’t know was that 23 publishers had rejected the same manuscript. Same words. Same story. Just a different context — success.

Here’s the thing: many people love the idea of associating with success. They’re not wrong…it’s human. But confusing that for love or loyalty? That’s your mistake. Smile at the applause, thank them graciously… but don’t hand them your self-worth.

3. Your Dreams Will Be Lonelier Than You Imagined

When I first pitched one idea as a legitimate research paper, I got blank stares. One even said, “Sathya, stick to your genre. Don’t become… weird.”

But I couldn’t. Because the vision was burning.

When you are not yet successful, your dreams are nothing more than hallucinations to others. You might be the only one who sees them clearly. You will have to protect them fiercely, even from those who claim to love you.

Sometimes, you will be your only believer. And that’s enough.

4. Motivation Fails. Discipline Rescues.

There was a phase, maybe 2018 or 2019, when everything felt mechanical. I was teaching, writing, consulting, and travelling, but felt no spark. I used to stare at the laptop, type a sentence, and delete it. Repeat.

Dreams aren’t enough. Motivation isn’t reliable. What you need is a practice, a stubborn, boring, almost unromantic practice. I wrote 300 words every day during that low phase. Most of it was trash. Some of it became books. One became a keynote.

Lift yourself. Fight again. It’s hard. That’s why it works.

5. Class Toppers Aren’t Always Life Toppers

In college, there was a guy named Raju. First in everything. Notes pristine. CGPA intimidating. Ten years later, he’s working a stable job. Safe. Linear.

And then there was Guru barely passed statistics, but asked sharp questions about the world. Today, he runs a cross-border social enterprise and speaks at big forums.

Success isnt being a topper

Success isn’t about being the smartest in class. It’s about understanding people, the pulse of your industry, and above all, yourself. That emotional intelligence, curiosity, and instinct will take you far beyond gold medals ever can.

Final Words

These lessons are not original. They’re universal. But you only truly understand them when life slaps them into you.

Success is not a peak. It’s a rhythm. Some days you lead the dance. Some days, you just try not to fall. But as long as you’re in motion, learning, adapting, and being kind to yourself, you’re already ahead of the curve.

Hold onto your people. Guard your dreams. Trust your weirdness.

The world will catch up.

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