McFirst World Problems
Ten days ago, under the tutelage of an incredible human who works with people who make a billion dollars per movie, I upgraded the scenes page for The Brittle Riders and Goptri of the Mists. Basically, a little more titillation (BOOBS!), a few more explosions (BIG TINGS GO BA-BOOM!), a deeper dive into the uniqueness of it all (HOLY BAT SHIT! WHAT’S THAT?), more same sex imagery (YAY GAY!) and a few more examples of humans humiliating the chimeras (IT’S WHY THEY KILLED THEM!).
She and I went through the images one by one, and she called out additions she wanted, things she felt should be eliminated, stuff that needed minor alterations, and a request for the source files of two images that she could blow up and put on her wall so her girlfriend could see. Since her girlfriend is a graphic designer, it was unclear if she was going for “Oh, Baby, aren’t these hot?” or “Hey, Honey, aren’t these good?” Either way, she got the images she requested.
Nevertheless, once we had everything humming along nicely, I loaded the whole she-bang up, told my wife I loved her, drank some tequila, and went to bed. While I was doing that, my new BFF sent an email to a few friends saying, “Yo, dudes and dudines, you gotta check this shit out!” and included the link I shared above. Well, she told a few friends, and they told a few friends, and so on and so on. By the time I crawled my fat ass out of bed, the entire website had been overrun and shut down. I own the server and make sure any sites I work with have a buffer, so I can get a warning and avoid something like this. However, they used so much bandwidth so fast, even the warning message got whelmed. I had to increase the amount of bandwidth available by ten times its original number just to get things moving again. Later, I added more.
After I told her what happened, she sent out a funny email telling her friends how cute it was they got so excited while reminding them it’s not spank porn, and let them know things were back up and running. Based on my daily checks, they have come back. We’re still well over our usual bandwidth limits, using what used to be a month’s worth in a couple days, but the headroom I added seems to be sufficient.
The fact is, as much as I’m thrilled that industry peeps are taking notice, the actual target audience for this is about four people. They’re the ones who can cut checks. However, the people viewing it now have been kind enough to offer their suggestions on how to make this more likely to succeed. I don’t even know them, and they’re like, “Hey, Bill, have you tried …?” Many times I had, and let them know the results, but a few I had not, and damn if they didn’t help make it better. A couple think I’m more connected than I am. Much to your shock and theirs, I can’t actually pick up my phone and call Spielberg. If I could, he’s more likely to get a restraining order than answer.
While nothing moves at the pace anyone wants, things are moving. That’s more than many can say. Until next time, thanks for hanging around and playing along. You are more appreciated than you know.
