Character Interview: Captain Burt Sharky
Our Deliverers Character InterviewSeries continues with an interview with Captain Burt Sharky, the meanest,toughest, nastiest pirate to sail the high seas. This should be interesting. Ihope he doesn't pillage and burn the place!
Greg: Well, thank you for taking the time to sitdown and chat with us, Captain Sharky.
Sharky: Argh! Aint no trouble at all matey. Everyonce in a while it’s good t’ get outta the water inta drydock an’ scrape thebarnacles off m’ keel.
Greg: I can see how that would be necessary fromtime to time. Tell us a little bit about yourself, if you don’t mind.
Sharky: Well, I been at sea most o' m’ life.
Greg: Oh, that’s marvelous. Did you start as acabin boy?
Sharky: No, nothin’ like that. See, m’ old man werea pirate. When he spotted a ship he wanted to pillage, he and the rest o’ thecrew’d get belowdecks and leave me on deck by m’self. I were only about 7 or 8,and I’d set to hollerin’ and whinin’ and carryin’ on. The target ship’d alwayscome see what the fuss were about. They’d see me alone on deck, and I’d shoutthat everyone were washed overboard in a storm. They’d come over to rescue me,and m’ dad’s crew would overpower ‘em and board their ship. We took a lot offat prizes that way.
Greg: Oh, how, umm, cute.
Sharky: Them were the days.‘Bout the only happy times I can remember, ‘cept o’ course when I found m’ring. Things started lookin’ up after that.
Greg: Your ring?
Sharky: Aye. I took it from a lubber one time when Iwas ashore. I’d lost m’ ship and I wanted the ring to finance a new one. I ranthe dog through, an’ took the ring, but I couldn’t bring m’ self to sell it.Instead, I kept it and stole a merchant vessel.
I recruited a new crew, found a good island hideout, andset about plunderin’ vessels. I grew to be successful an’ set up a piratin’empire. I was known throughout the world as the meanest, dirtiest, most rottenscoundrel to sail the high seas.
Greg: So I understand. What happened with CalEndria and his group?
Sharky: Endria and his lilly livered dogs werenothin’ but cowardly sheep. They lost their stomach for fighten’ an’ wanted tosettle down. I should of keel hauled the lot of ‘em. Instead, though, I decidedthat they could be useful in their own way.
I set up the Tariff where they had to give me half ofeverything they produced for a hunnert years. Then after the hunnert years hadgone by, I double crossed ‘em. I came sailin’ in with a new weapon and keptchargin’ the Tariff twice a year for another two hunnert, until that kid an’his bird came.
Greg: Hold on. Just how longhave you been alive?
Sharky: I were born over 350 years ago. It were thering, ya see. It give me long life and’great power. No one everthought to double cross ol’ Sharky, because I beat Death hisself. Thenalong came that Eric brat an’ his bird. Arghhh, I can’t talk ‘bout it no more!Read the cursed book.
Greg: What do you like to do in your spare time?
Sharky: Oh, I don’t know.Terrorizin’ children an’ small animals, bullyin’, belittlin’, swearin’,carryin’ on, hangin’ swabs from the yardarm, the usual things, I s’pose.
Greg: Have you ever come across Captain JackSparrow?
Sharky: Arghhhhh! Don’t mention that name! The slipperyeel still owes me his ship, the Black Pearl. I won it fair an’ square in apoker game, but he give me the slip when I were tryin’ to take possession. Ifhe ever comes across me bow again, he’ll get a long, painful death, or my nameain't Captain Burt Sharky.
Greg: How has the release of the book impactedyour life?
Sharky: Are ya daft?! How has it affected m’ life?It’s ruined it ya lubber, that’s what it’s done! I can’t show m’self at anypirate meets. I get so mad, I could run someone through!
Greg: Well, on that note, Ithink it’s time to wrap this up. Thank you so much for taking some time to talkwith us.
Sharky: How do I get out of this pigsty? I’ve got toget back to m' ship. I’m thinkin’ of startin’ a ghost pirate crew. Mortalscan’t stand ghosts!
