Two Bobsworth Theory
The Sock Puppet:Professor Wittgenstein, you know everything, don’t you?
Wittgenstein: Yes- and zen some, as zey say across der pond
TSP: Tell us,therefore, why didn’t the Israelites fight like this against the Nazis?
PW: Because zat wesee is not fighting.
TSP: …or, for thatmatter, against the Romans – who kicked them off the promised land in the firstplace?
PW: As I implied, zisis unconventional warfare, not such as took place between der former Great Powers.
TSP: Could youexpand on that thought?
PW: Let us use ananalogy from ze animal kingdom. Der ant, for example. Zis is merely a local issueof territory. In ein fulltank of time, it vill be resolved by superior force.
TSP: Do you meanby God?
PW: Nein; in myanalogy, God vud not take sides, but behave like der child who - in zeir gleeand impotence - stamps randomly on der ants as they go about zeir business. Zesuperior force would be amongst der ants zemselves. Ze stronger group is prevailing,zat is all.
TSP: Wiping outtheir opponents?
PW: Well, zere isgenerally collateral damage venever der vanquished foe are forced to give up zeirposition. But aside from amongst der human snowflakes, zis kind of activitygoes on villy-nilly everywhere.
TSP: So you arecomparing the Israelites to insect colonies such as ants?
PW: Ach, nein, youüber dolt! What I am saying is zat human beings have forgotten zeir rootswithin ze animal world. No one is crying foul when der lion brings down derailing vilderbeest, or ven ein kolony of fire ants overruns ze nest of a rival species.Zat is nature at work. So when one tribe of humans decides to invade zer lebensraumof its rival, so what? Zat is ze real life, mein old chum. Defend yourself andrepel ze boarder, if you can. If you can’t, zen better up sticks and look for dernew place occupied by ein volk less able to defend zemselves. It is hund eatinghund out zere, and pointless pretending otherwise.
TSP: Ah, now I getyou!
PW: Und I shouldjolly vell hope so.
TSP: As always,thank you for your wisdom, Professor!
PW: Never mind allzat, just leave der florin on ze sideboard as you go out.
Nein Gott!
