When You Feel Lost & Alone, Where is God?
If there’s one thing I know, it’s that we all long for love. Where we can find the real intimacy that we were made for? In “Deeply Loved“, Bill and Kristi Gaultiere are warm-hearted friends who share vulnerably from their lives and people they’ve helped to show us how to experience the compassionate, sympathetic love of Jesus. I’m delighted to welcome Bill and Kristi to the farm’s table today…
Guest Post by Bill and Kristi Gaultiere
Sometimes we all feel alone.
Maybe we even hide from other people—even though we long to be found.
In those times it’s hard to believe that someone even cares enough to find us.
Have you ever lost a child or another loved one in a crowd?
If so you’ll remember the panic, ache in your stomach, and thoughts careening down rabbit trails to your worst fears!
That’s how Bill and I, Kristi here, felt the day our happy family day at Disneyland went dark.
We were with our three young children and having so much fun, laughing, playing, exploring. I had to change our baby’s diaper.
Then all of a sudden our precious four-year old girl was gone!








“Bill, have you seen Jennie?”
“No. Last I saw she was with you.”
My heart started pounding out of my chest and my thoughts swirled in fear. What if she’s been kidnapped?
We began searching for her frantically, describing our beautiful little girl to strangers, running to find an employee, hearing the loud speakers announce, “Code red! Code red!”
Soon a host of people joined our search. Forty-five minutes later we found our precious girl, waiting in line to see Minnie Mouse.
“The Good Shepherd not only searches for the lost sheep but also for the lost child in each of us.“
We all long to be wanted and to have others notice if we are missing, but we’ve talked with many people who got lost emotionally as children, and no one came looking for them.
They received little or no empathy from their parents, went through trauma that caused them to shut down emotionally, or became self-sufficient, trying not to have any personal needs.
As a feeler in a family of thinkers, I hid my emotions and felt insecure.
I got lost in pleasing others to feel wanted.
Bill got lost as the oldest of five children with so many responsibilities that he believed it was immature to play, have emotions and needs, or ask for help.
How about you?
The Good Shepherd not only searches for the lost sheep but also for the lost child in each of us. With deep compassion for our pain, shame, fear, sin, and needs, Christ humbled himself, taking on the very nature a human being (Philippians 2:6). Our High Priest was tempted and tried in every way we are and He is always ready to sympathize with us (Hebrews 4:15). Biblical empathy is seeking to find and understand someone’s emotions, thoughts, and experiences to help them know they are deeply loved by God.
To be found with Biblical, Christ-like, empathy means you are receiving and appreciating tenderhearted warmth, gentle inquisitiveness, patient listening, validation of your emotions and needs, and grace that loves you as you are. When you receive Christ-like compassion like this, you feel seen, heard, and wanted.
Without Christ-like compassion, separated from deeply loving relationships, your true self won’t develop well and important parts of you will get lost. Every part of you needs to experience Christ-like compassion, including your emotions, thoughts, needs, values, memories, and dreams. If any parts of you are dismissed by others or denied by you, then they get lost in the dark of your unconscious.
It’s hard to have joy in loving others when you’re emotionally lost from not receiving Christ-like empathy.
“It is God’s relentless, loving pursuit to find you—with your emotions, wounds, sins, needs, beliefs, and strengths—so that you wake up to be fully present, trusting God and loving others as God loves you.“
When Bill was an infant, he was left alone to cry in the basement until he learned that crying brought no response. It took him many years to learn how to trust that anyone—even Jesus—truly wanted to find and care for his lost emotions and needs.
I never lost the ability to feel but I hid in shame and fear. I needed to trust that Jesus accepted me and even delighted in me.
When you get stressed, hurt, or stuck feeling bad about yourself do you cry out to be found by Jesus?
Jesus never wants you to be lost. When you are alone, hurting, or in danger your Good Shepherd searches for you. He finds you, puts you atop his shoulders, and sings with joy as he carries you home! (Luke 15:3-7).
The process of being found and saved by Jesus includes knowing God more fully and joining God in knowing ourselves more fully. To know more of God but with only a small part of ourselves is not a very intimate relationship.
We all need to be emotionally found by our Savior to help us learn to believe, trust, and apply the truth of his ever-reaching, ever-deepening love.
David, a man after God’s heart, offered vulnerable prayers like, “Search me, God, and know my heart; test me and know my anxious thoughts. See if there is any offensive way in me, and lead me in the way everlasting” (Psalm 139:23–24).
The Holy Spirit’s continual searching for you in Psalm 139 is the deep compassion of God. It is God’s relentless, loving pursuit to find you—with your emotions, wounds, sins, needs, beliefs, and strengths—so that you enter into being fully present, trusting God and loving others as God loves you.









“Learning to relate to Jesus’ emotions and receive His compassionate love for you will help you cry out to be found by Him and appreciate that you are deeply loved by God—now and always.“
When I feel alone and like no one would understand me I’ve learned to connect with Jesus’ emotions in the Gospels like a mirror.
Jesus felt weary after a long journey (John 4:6).
He felt troubled and anxious about going to the cross (John 12:27).
He felt terrible pain when he was abused (Mark 15:15).
He felt angry when vulnerable people were mistreated (John 2:17).
He felt deep sadness when people rejected him and his message of peace (Luke 19:41).
Learning to relate to Jesus’ emotions and receive His compassionate love for you will help you cry out to be found by Him and appreciate that you are deeply loved by God…
Now and always.

Reading “Deeply Loved” is like talking with close friends who truly understand you.
Dr’s Bill and Kristi Gaultiere are therapists and soul friends to countless people. They are the founders of Soul Shepherding, a nonprofit ministry to help people go deeper with Jesus in emotional health and loving relationships. They invite you to come on retreat with them.
In their new book, Deeply Loved, Bill and Kristi show you how to stop settling for shallow relationships by receiving and reflecting God’s great compassion for you. You’ll discover how to release worries, comfort hurts, and resolve conflicts. You’ll learn how to resist judging your emotions and needs by agreeing with God’s grace. You’ll appreciate Bible-based empathy practices to know that you and the people you care for are deeply loved by Jesus.
Get your copy now and invite your friends to join you in experiencing the deep, deep love of our Lord and Savior.
{Our humble thanks to Baker Publishing Group for their partnership in today’s devotional.}
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