Which Old Expectations Do You Have?

Old expectations about yourself and others can prevent you from having the life you want. We learned many of these expectations as a child or teen, and we still carry them with us.

Check off those expectations that fit you.

☐ The Caretaker Contract I must always take care of_______________.☐ The Fear of “No” If I say “no”, the other person will think less of me. ☐ The Approval Seeker I do some things to get thanks and appreciation. ☐ The Image Directive I should dress the way others expect me to look. ☐ The Burden of Pride I do a lot so my (husband, parent, child) will be proud of me and see me as successful. ☐ The Disappointment Phobia I am not a person who disappoints other people.☐ The Perfectionist Mandate I am a high achiever in everything I do.☐ The Role Play I must conform to what a (wife, husband, parent) is supposed to be and do.☐ The “Hard Work” Fallacy If I work hard, I will reap the rewards.☐ The Facade of Flawlessness I can’t let anyone see my faults.

If you checked off more than a few, you’re not alone. These aren’t personal failings; they are deeply ingrained patterns.

And while it might seem harmless to sometimes do things because you worry about what others think, the cumulative effect is devastating. When you consistently feel compelled to meet these expectations, you trade authenticity for approval. It leads to burnout, resentment, and a nagging feeling that you’re living someone else’s life.

It’s what keeps your hand hovering on the doorknob, too afraid to see what’s on the other side.

But recognizing the lock is the first step toward finding the key.

Stay tuned to discover how to modify or break free of these old expectations. Subsequent blog posts will tackle them one by one.

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