Skills to Heal: Self Compassion
Trauma survivors’ nervous systems get rewired because terrible things happen to them. This rewiring puts the survival system in charge of the nervous system. The nervous system wasn’t meant to have the survival system on front and center 24/7.
This is why it’s important to have compassion on yourself as you work through the traumatic incidents. You’re not a coward. There’s nothing morally wrong with you when you re-experience the trauma and you shouldn’t feel like a failure. You’re in progress and you’re healing. That’s not an easy road to take.
Understanding what you’re going through instead of condemning yourself is vital on this road trip that most people will never take. Most are not brave enough to acknowledge and start to heal.
I have unfortunately found that few people are willing to try and understand the damage that trauma does to people. This is unfortunate - but it doesn’t make you a failure. You are not going to change them. Especially if they don’t want to listen.
The best you can do is continue to heal and understand the signals that your body sends to you. Progress doesn’t always look like progress because healing is difficult.
Also - self compassion isn’t you being lazy. It’s not you doing a sloppy job. It’s you saying, “Not today - but someday.” And the perseverance to go forward with that consistency is what makes healing happen.
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