Why Having a Chip on Your Shoulder Can Be Your Greatest Advantage in Life and Leadership

Do you have a chip on your shoulder? You know, the type that pushes you to excessive effort, relentless resilience, and pursuit of greatness—over and over again—no matter what life throws at you?

For me, the theme has always been not feeling good enough. Never good enough.

I grew up a nobody in a small town.

I skipped a grade so I was the youngest kid in my class and never fit in.

I got told I was ugly. I got dumped. I got betrayed.

Those things cut into me in ways I didn’t understand.

But instead of letting them bury me, I started building armor.

I transformed into what I thought the world wanted: an invincible, armored, fearless warrior.

But the chip never really went away. It became fuel.

I once lost a job that I absolutely dominated—through no fault of my own. One day I was the guy everyone praised, the one they “couldn’t live without.” The next day, silence. People I thought were family disappeared overnight.

The lesson was brutal: I was alone.

I vowed to come back stronger, sharper, and better than ever, no matter how long it took.

Another time, I had a manager who didn’t like me and targeted me, making unfair changes to my work to hold me down and clearly wanted me gone.

My response? I studied every facet of the role, obsessed over the process, and catapulted myself to every award imaginable. Not out of spite—but out of sheer determination to prove that no obstacle could break me.

There were promotions promised to me—roles created for me—only to be handed to someone else at the last second.

There were times when the rules were literally changed just to unseat me from being #1. Twice! Did I walk away? No. Did I sacrifice the #1 position? Also no.

I pivoted. I adjusted. And I won again.

Each setback became a test. And every time, I came out stronger.

Being a husband and a Dad has started to peel back some of that armor. My kids don’t need a perfect warrior—they need me. The messy, imperfect, authentic me. And my wife doesn’t want the polished act either—she wants the man behind it all. It took me a long time to believe that.

Most people think those crucibles and humiliating losses would jade someone. That they’d lead to bitterness, burnout, or breaking points.

I thank God for them every day.

Because they taught me resilience. They molded me. They forced me to grow in ways that easy victories never could.

And they gave me perspective. Today, I have everything I’ve ever wanted—and more than I deserve.

Do you have a chip on your shoulder?

And if you do—how are you using it?

Because that chip can be poison… or it can be rocket fuel.