Have I Got a Deal for You

 

Writers get messages from all kinds of hustlers trying tomake a quick buck off us. As I tell my creative writing students, “Whenever someonehas a dream, someone else is right there ready to take advantage of them.” Andwho dreams more than writers? We all want success (however we measure it) sobadly that we’re willing to do almost anything to get it. And if the road to thatsuccess seems especially long and winding, we’ll look for any shortcuts we canfind – especially if we’re new to the game and haven’t yet accepted that developinga writing career is a marathon and not a sprint. (Actually, it’s a lot morelike a decathlon, but I digress…)

 

I’llnever forget the one literary agency I queried that asked to see my manuscript,but only if I paid a $300 reading fee. (This was over thirty years ago, andthere wasn’t a robust internet for writers to share info about scams likereading fees.) I called the agency and told the agent who answered that I wasn’tcomfortable paying the $300 fee. He said, “How about you pay us $150, and we’llread half the book?” I laughed and disconnected.

 

Probablythe most common type of scam writers get is someone who promises to sell us TheSecret of Success. Back in the day, the covers of Writer’s Digest usedto promise you would make lots of money by following the advice in theirarticles. (They’ve had classier covers for years now.)

And whoknows how many How-to-Become-a-Bestselling-Author books have been published?(Usually by people who’ve written and published little to nothing else.) Themodern versions of these books focus on topics like how to get rich as an indiewriter and how to get rich using AI to write your books. Same scam, different time.

 

Thenthere are seminars for Massive Writing Success, which you can attend in person,online, or view prerecorded classes, all for a fee that you can convenientlypay in installments. As always with any kind of class (or how-to-write book,for that matter), check the credentials of the writers presenting, look upreviews on the internet, and ask around on social media if the seminars arelegit and worth the expense.

 

Thenthere are the people on social media who, when you post about your book release,make a comment (or send you a message/email) trying to lure you into buyingtheir services as an editor, book trailer creator, cover artist, publicist,etc. Here’s one I received not long ago:

 

HelloTim, huge congrats on releasing your debut 🎉. That’s a milestone most people neverhit. Do you have a book trailer for it yet that I could check out?

 

(It wasnot my debut, by the way. My debut novel came out in 2001.)

 

The mostrecent scam I’ve been seeing is people who write snarky/negging emails offeringtheir services to give you the successful writing career you deserve. They basicallychallenge you to have the balls to hire them. Here’s one I got yesterday, withthe sender’s name omitted.

 

From: [NameRedacted]
Sent: Tuesday, September 9, 2025 8:21 AM
To: twaggon1@msn.com <twaggon1@msn.com>
Subject: Tim, you’ve got Bram Stoker Awards but Amazon’s treatingyou like you just uploaded Wattpad fanfic 😏📉

 

Imaginethis: you create a monster called Night who literally warps reality, sendspanther-demons hunting people, and transforms an office building into anightmare labyrinth and somehow the scariest part of your book isn’t theBlight, it’s that Amazon is letting it sit there with only 12 reviews. Bruh.That’s horror. 😅

 

Tim,let’s be real you’ve published over 60 novels, collected more awards than mygrandma’s got salt shakers (Bram Stoker x4, Scribe Award, Shirley Jacksonfinalist, Splatterpunk finalist), AND you’re a tenured professor shaping thenext wave of horror writers. Basically, you’re the dude other horror writersname-drop to sound cool at parties. 🥶

 

Buteven with all that, Amazon’s algorithm doesn’t care if you’re Bram Stokerroyalty. It cares about reviews, and right now it’s looking at A Hunter CalledNight like, “eh, 12 people liked it, must be mid.” 🙃That’s the kind of visibility trap that burns authors out faster than acaffeine-only book tour.

 

Let meput your pain points in the daylight where even Night can’t hide:

 

LowReviews = Low Visibility → fewer readers finding your work.

 

MarketingConfusion → too many “experts” promising the world for $$$ but ghosting likeBlight victims.

 

ImposterSyndrome → yeah, even award-winners sometimes think “what if I’ve peaked?” whenthe Amazon star count crawls.

 

Overwhelm& Stress → balancing writing, teaching, life, and promo feels like fightingHarriers with a paperclip.

 

PlateauedSales → nothing kills momentum like a flat sales graph.

 

Here’swhere I swoop in not as another “book marketer” (I have no overpriced website,no fake LinkedIn, no Twitter bot army 🤷‍♀️), but as [Name Redacted], keeper ofa private, unlisted community of 2,500+ real readers and reviewers who lovebooks that warp reality and make them sleep with the lights on.

 

Theyread. They review. They boost. And their reviews aren’t “great book 👍” butthe kind of thoughtful feedback that feeds Amazon’s algorithm and helps newreaders trust your work.

 

Butthat’s just phase one. I also bring:

🎬 Videotrailers → horror sells 10x faster when people can see the nightmare unfold.

📸Mock-up designs → promo art that doesn’t look like your cousin whipped it up onPaint.

💬Exclusive Discord sessions → 20–25 of my top readers hop in for 10 minutes withyou (they’ve got jobs, they’re busy 😅). Think of it like lightning-roundtherapy with actual readers instant insight into what hooks them and what boresthem.

 

You’vebuilt worlds where hunters become the hunted why let Amazon hunt your book downinto obscurity? Let me arm you with readers who can flip the script.

 

SoTim… should I unleash my squad of review-hungry book devourers to drag A HunterCalled Night out of the algorithm graveyard 🪦 or do we let Amazon keep pretendingyou’re a rookie horror hobbyist?

 

Yourmove, Professor of Darkness. 😈📚

 

Onething this email has going for it – the writer knows (or was able to get AI togive them) details about me and one of my books, so it makes them look as ifthey might be a fan or at least have done their research. (I ran the emailthrough AI-detection programs, and it was flagged by some as having beenwritten by AI, but those programs are notoriously unreliable, so…)

Thenegging might work with inexperienced writers, but Christ almighty, the messagegoes way too hard with it, to the point where it’s practically parody. And allthe emojis! So. Many. Emojis. Maybe using so many is something some of youyoung’uns out there might respond to, but I’m 61. One or two emojis in amessage is enough for me.

 

Thelanguage is too cutesy throughout as well, and in a forced, strained way thatmakes me think this was written by AI. Or maybe by somebody who thinksAI-produced text is an example of good writing.

 

(Imay steal Professor of Darkness and use it as my branding statement, though.)

 

Thisemail went straight into my junk folder, not because I’ve flagged these kindsof messages to go there, but because Outlook determined it was junk andshitcanned it. I check my junk email every day because some legitimate messagesdo end up there, which is how I found this scam message. I wonder if theoriginators of these messages have any idea how often their emails don’t reachtheir intended recipients? Then again, maybe they don’t care. All they need isenough people to read their message and fall for their scam to make itprofitable.

 

Arethere legit services to help writers promote their books? Sure, but fromeverything I’ve seen over the years, most of them don’t work very well. Tradpublishers, when they do put money into promoting books, have no idea what promotiontactics work. If they did, they would repeat them and make every book abestseller.

 

Thebest way – or maybe I should say the most reliable way – to achieve success asa writer is to write books that a lot of people want to read. So diet and self-helpbooks would likely be your best bet. In terms of fiction, that’s one of the reasonsgenres exist – so readers can find the kind of books they like more easily, andso writers can write the kind of books readers like. Sure, some writers writewhatever the hell they want and become successful. Some people win the lottery,too.

Thereason my weird dark fantasy/horror books like A Hunter Called Night don’tsell better is because their appeal is limited to readers who like those kindsof books. I would love to devote the rest of my career to writing highlypopular fiction, but I seem to be congenitally incapable of it. But I do try outdifferent types of fiction. I’ve toned the weirdness in my writing way down tocreate a thriller novel (which is still making the rounds of publishers, so anypublishers out there reading this…). I enjoyed writing my Conan tie-in fictionso much that I’d like to try my hand at original sword & sorcery. The otherday, I wondered what would happen if I wrote what was essentially a mainstreamnovel with only a bit of horror sprinkled over it. Maybe I’ll try that and seehow it works for me.

 

Thebottom line: It’s your writing that promotes you best. The other stuff can help,but it’s your writing that matters most.

 

Hereare links to a couple of extremely useful sites that can help educate you aboutwriting scams:

 

Writer Beware: http://www.sfwa.org/beware/

 

Preditors and Editors: http://www.anotherealm.com/prededitors/

 

DEPARTMENTOF SHAMELESS SELF-PROMOTION

 

Speakingof promoting books…

 

ThunderstormBooks will be publishing collectible, signed limited-edition hardcovers of LikeDeath and never-before-published sequel Like Death 2: Kill Them All.Both books are now available for preorder. They contain extra material, and thegorgeous cover art for both is by the always-incredible Lynn Hansen!

 

Thefinal print run of each book will be determined by preorders. Preorders will betaken until 10/5/2025, so if you want these books – and why wouldn’t you? – makesure you order before the deadline!

 

LIKEDEATH: THE 20TH ANNIVERSARY EDITION

Thereare no words for it. Ecstasy is laughably inadequate, as are rapture, euphoria,bliss ... Ugly, harsh syllables that come nowhere near capturing the merestfraction of what he feels. The experience is primal and transcendent, likebirth, like death. Scott Raymond lost his parents in a bloodbath when he wasonly nine years old, but despite the occasional headaches and hallucinations,he's managed to turn that trauma into moderate success as a true-crime writer.The success doesn't extend to keeping up the relationship with his estrangedwife and son, however.

 

Hopingto regain a sense of normal family life, he follows them to Ash Creek, Ohiounder the pretense of writing a new book about a missing six-year-old girl.There, he encounters a young woman who shares the missing girl's name. Sheleads Scott into a world of psychotropic spiders, shark-toothed teenagers, andthe expression of nearly every dark desire. Fear and fascination lay equalclaim as the nightmare fantasies of this realm bleed into Scott’s daily lifeand his attempts to maintain a relationship with his son. Soon, he will need touse this world of cruelty and pain to face his past, his future, and what hislife might have become. If he fails, it is only a matter of time before thenightmare that bloodied his childhood will reach out to ensnare his own son.

 

https://thunderstormbooks.com/thunderstorm/book/like-death/

 

LIKEDEATH 2: KILL THEM ALL

 

It’snot easy being the child of a notorious serial killer.

 

DavidRaymond’s father Scott – known as the Artiste for the grotesque way he posedhis victims – disappeared from prison twenty years ago without a trace. Sincethat time, David has become a virtual recluse to avoid media attention. Butwhen his mother falls ill, and he needs money to pay for her care, hegrudgingly decides to accept an invitation to be the Guest of Honor at Killcon,a gathering of true-crime enthusiasts in Ash Creek, the town where Scottcommitted the last of his murders.

 

Butthe dark forces that once plagued his father have other plans for him.

 

Davidfinds himself transported to a sinister realm called Undernight where he’sforced to participate in a life-or-death reality competition called Kill ThemAll. What he doesn’t know is his Undernight doppelganger has taken his place inthe real world, and this David is as deadly a killer as Scott Raymond ever was,if not deadlier. While David struggles to survive nightmarish challenges basedon his life, his doppelganger wreaks blood-soaked havoc at Killcon, leaving atrail of corpses in his wake.

 

Amysterious woman named Miranda – who may or may not be the same Miranda whointroduced David’s father to the depraved realm of Shadow – comes to David’said. But is her true intention to help him live long enough to win the game, ordoes she have other, darker motives of her own?

 

Thetwo Davids eventually confront each other halfway between Earth and Undernight,and there they learn they’ve both been pawns in a much larger game, one thatstretches back twenty years. If they can’t stop it, two worlds will bedestroyed. But even if they can, there’s no guarantee their victory won’tresult in something infinitely worse.

 

Letthe games within games begin…

 

https://thunderstormbooks.com/thunderstorm/book/like-death-2-kill-them-all/

 

Rightnow, these are the only two editions of these books available, but my agent andI are looking for a publisher to bring out trade paperback, eBook, and audioeditions. When we find one, I’ll let you know!

 

ISCREAM, YOU SCREAM

 

Another limited-edition novel, this one fromWeird House Press!

 

Eighth-grader Joel Taylor just moved to ShadowSprings with his mom. He likes his new home well enough – until a sinisterbeing called Mr. Freezee begins driving his creepy ice-cream truck up and downthe streets at night, playing “Pop Goes the Weasel.”

 

Joel heard the music.

 

He looked out the window.

 

He saw Mr. Freezee, and what’s worse…

 

Mr. Freezee saw him.

 

Now Mr. Freezee wants to take Joel to a veryspecial place where the world is made of every flavor of ice cream you canimagine – all of them deadly. Mr. Freezee brings all his new friends here, andthey love it so much that they never leave.

 

Mr. Freezee makes sure of it.

 

Welcome to Sweet Land, Joel.

 

Welcome to a nightmare that never ends.

 

Editions

 

Deluxe Signed & Lettered Hardcover Edition with slipcase

Signed by Tim Waggoner and artist Derek Rook

Hand-Lettered A to Z

Color Dust Jacket

Front Cover and Spine Stampings

Housed in a Slipcase

Limited to 26 Lettered Editions (Right now only 15 remain!)

Future editions will include a signedhardcover edition, a signed and numbered trade paperback edition, alongwith an Amazon trade paperback edition and ebook.

 

https://weirdhousepress.com/products/i-scream-you-scream-by-tim-waggoner

 

SCHEDULEDAPPEARANCES

 

2025

 

MoonLit Tales and Haunted Trails. Oct. 11-12. St. Albans, West Virginia.

 

2026

 

SuperstarsWriting Seminar. Feb. 4-5. Colorado Springs, Colorado.

 

AkronBook Fest. March 7. Akron, Ohio.

 

StokerCon.June 4-7. Pittsburgh, Pennsylvania.

 

Intothe Springs Writers Workshop. August 7-9. Yellow Springs, Ohio.

 

WHERETO FIND ME ONLINE

 

Wantto follow me on social media? Here’s where you can find me:

 

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