Good-bye Blog

As I sit at my desk, the Rocky Mountain foothills burn to the west of me, the worst fire in Colorado history. My cousin lost his property, moose are showing up in Fort Collins, and more people are being evacuated. Knowing someone who has lost almost everything sure makes one rethink life a bit.

After the death of my unconditional love, my cat Jemima, followed six days later by the fire, I have no inclination to write. I sit at my laptop, stare at the screen, and feel the energy drain from my body. That’s not a good state to be in when writing children’s books. So I am taking time off from writing. I’ve been at it for 20 years, and lately it has been an energy drag. It’s not so much the writing – it’s everything else that is piled on top of it. The marketing. Setting up book signings and only two people show up. The layers of social media that require time away from writing in the name of building fans. The new social media that comes along just when you thought having 50 friends on Facebook was a good thing. The missed opportunities. The creating of opportunities that don’t pan out. The waiting to get paid for work completed months or a year ago while quarterly tax deadlines loom. The constant pressure to do my own publicity for negligible return when I should be writing – creatively – instead of being a publicist. The look on people’s faces when they tell you they have so many books already they haven’t read which means they don’t want to buy mine. The de-valuation of the book and diminishing respect for the skills and time it takes to create a story. Suffice it to say, I’ve had enough.

There are a few projects partially completed that I want to finish, but I’ve decided to get back to them when I’m re-energized and excited about writing again. Now’s not the time. I need to occupy myself with something that brings joy, playfulness, lightness in these times of heaviness. So instead of writing I’m making bike seat covers. Yep, bumcicles bike seat covers. Cloth, thread, elastic, and a label. That’s is. There’s something about playing with colorful fabrics that appeals to me now.  I design them out of fun mix-and-match fabrics and local seamstresses sew them. Then I post them on my Etsy shop. I don’t have anyone telling me that my choice of fabrics is wrong. Or wanting me to change my pattern. Or grimacing when they feel obligated to buy it. Instead people see my bumcicles and smile. But better yet, they make me smile. And that’s what I need right now more than trying to analyze how to get more school visits or sell more books at signings. Or chasing elusive opportunities. Or wasting writing time writing posts for this blog instead of stories that matter.

So I say good-bye blog. It’s time for me to try something new.

I’m excited to see what rises from the ashes.

 

Filed under: Natasha Wing