14 years in waiting

This was one of the last pictures Julian took with his sister not long before her adoption in 2011. I'll never forget that bittersweet day. 

My heart broke for myself to lose her permanently, but it ached for Julian and the empty hole she left in his heart. He loved her so dearly, yet he never even had the chance to officially say goodbye. For years we wondered where she ended up and how her life turned out. We kept her memory alive by celebrating their April birthdays every year and sending out bouquets of prayers for her on her special day. 
We finally found her and made contact with her in 2016, five years later, and made plans to visit her in 2017. It was going to be one of the most amazing moments of my life--me, Juan, and Julian all showing up in Spain to reunite with their sister. I had it all planned just right, purchasing the tickets right on Julian's 24th birthday, surprising him with the gift of knowing he'd see his sister again. 
And then the whole plan went sour (long story), and due to my own naive mistake that I couldn't fix, Julian did not get to join us. I have carried that disappointment in my heart for the last eight years. 



Twice I tried to do something amazing for Julian, and twice the plan failed that I couldn't fix, no matter how hard I tried. 
That boy (young man) has always had my heart, but I eventually had to surrender my dreams for him to God and trust that God loved him more than I did. 

We connected with him through video calls while in Spain, and I vowed to never stop hoping and praying for a way for him to also reunite with his sister someday. 

He will always be like a son to me. She will always be the daughter of my heart. 
For the last ten years, my heart has lived on three continents. In North America with my sons, David and Juan. In South America with Julian. In Spain with Laura (Viviana in the book). 
After ten years in Argentina, eight years since Juan and I went to Spain, fourteen and a half years since Laura was adopted, God finally guided Julian to Spain to be present with his beloved sister. 

I hoped I'd be one of the first people he'd send one of their first pictures together to. I asked Juan to let me know once he heard from him. But what a sweet surprise to get the picture straight from Laura. 
So much emotion and so many memories all tucked into this precious picture. 
And all I can think is, "Why me?" Why did God choose me to be the one to keep these three siblings connected across three different continents? It's such an honor to be a part of their lives and to have them as part of my life. 

I know this post leaves a lot of gaps for anyone who hasn't been part of the story over the last 15 years. But that's okay. Sometimes when I write a post, I'm just writing it for me. 
Today is a day I have been longing for.
Julian finally made it to Spain, and Laura was the first to let me know he made it. 
My heart is full.